Today I am grateful for:
-being able to sleep in
-this amazing cloud in the sky. I watched it change into a bunch of shapes. I found some peace in that cloud.
-being able to say what I wanted. It was basically forced out of me but I was able to say it.
-Taking a 3 hour nap. It was the kind of sleep where I was instantly REMing. My dream was intense and so real. It took place in my room and my apartment. I knew at one point I was dreaming and I wanted to wake up but I couldn't move. I literally had to will my body to snap out of it. I jerked awake hard and I was stunned. It was unreal it was so real.
-remembering depression lies. It's a fucking lying son of a bitch and I hate it with all my being.
-seeing a movie with padre. The Heat. I really liked it. I thought it was super funny.
-laughter
-Dairy Queen. Nothing like a classic dipped cone while watching fireworks
-fireworks. And you know the founding of america blah blah blah. But mostly fireworks. They're so beautiful. I love the sound too.
-Padre being patient with me today. I was being an asshole. A real stubborn, quiet asshole.
-The basics
-being present. I'm aware that the last few days have been rough. I cannot quite figure out what triggered this bout I'm going through, but I'm in the thick of it now. Actually I think I'm at the tail end of it, thank goodness. Mostly I've been feeling overwhelmed. I also feel like I got scrambled eggs for brains. All my thoughts are just being whisked around and only bits and pieces are making sense.
-as always, my friends.
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