-this quote:
"Its astounding how well things work when we stop resisting or insisting."
-a super quick and super fun second day of shooting. We were there for maybe an hour tops and we got to throw toilet paper and talk to a puppet.
-being able to lean into joy a bit when talking to people on set about working with them and also my job at the workshop. I am so grateful that it brings me so much happiness.
-listening to kids in my class share their stories today. Some were funny, some were moving, but they were all beautiful and vulnerable in some way.
-another super quick and easy shoot at the workshop.
-getting Yogurtlab with Caleb and Andy before rehearsal.
-getting really solid feedback on my sketch today.
-the incredibly beautiful thunderstorm outside. The lightening is brightening up the sky more than the sun for quick flashes of time. The thunder is a deep rumble that you can feel travel throughout your body. The wind is whispering and the rain itself sounds like tap dancers flapping all around. It's really quite beautiful.
-the incredibly beautiful thunderstorm outside. The lightening is brightening up the sky more than the sun for quick flashes of time. The thunder is a deep rumble that you can feel travel throughout your body. The wind is whispering and the rain itself sounds like tap dancers flapping all around. It's really quite beautiful.
-being able to lie down (or more accurately relax on a couch) for a bit before the show tonight.
-being present. I'm present that a little while ago tonight I was struggling big time. There are a lot of factors that could have contributed to that. Maybe it's the fact that I've been pretty much going nonstop from 6am to 11pm today. With no time alone. (I am beginning to realize how essential that is for me.) It could also be that I'm running on only 5 hours of sleep. It could be that its almost that time of the month. It could be that I'm due to get Stuck. There are many factors for why I might be struggling, but the point is that I am. For about a solid 10 minutes after I got home I couldn't move. My thoughts were all over the place and they overwhelmed and overtook me. It was quite the sneak attack. They hit me like a ton of bricks and I got completely knocked on my butt. I hit the floor. The good news is you can't fall off the floor. Now it's the epic battle to get myself back up. And I am. I'm fighting back. I know these thoughts are lying to me. I know what they're saying to me is not true. I know I am worthy of love and belonging. I know it, I know it, I know it! But sometimes it's so hard to feel it. I'm upset. I'm upset because I was doing so well. I'm hoping that all I need is sleep. Actually, even just writing this down is helping to get some more of that stickiness off my chest. One step at a time. When I get overwhelmed it's so hard to remember that. Now that that thought is present in my mind though I feel a bit calmer. I'm okay. It's going to be okay. Breathe.
-remembering that I have support even if it's almost impossible to tap into it sometimes.
-EGBOK
-the basics
-as always, my friends.
-being present. I'm present that a little while ago tonight I was struggling big time. There are a lot of factors that could have contributed to that. Maybe it's the fact that I've been pretty much going nonstop from 6am to 11pm today. With no time alone. (I am beginning to realize how essential that is for me.) It could also be that I'm running on only 5 hours of sleep. It could be that its almost that time of the month. It could be that I'm due to get Stuck. There are many factors for why I might be struggling, but the point is that I am. For about a solid 10 minutes after I got home I couldn't move. My thoughts were all over the place and they overwhelmed and overtook me. It was quite the sneak attack. They hit me like a ton of bricks and I got completely knocked on my butt. I hit the floor. The good news is you can't fall off the floor. Now it's the epic battle to get myself back up. And I am. I'm fighting back. I know these thoughts are lying to me. I know what they're saying to me is not true. I know I am worthy of love and belonging. I know it, I know it, I know it! But sometimes it's so hard to feel it. I'm upset. I'm upset because I was doing so well. I'm hoping that all I need is sleep. Actually, even just writing this down is helping to get some more of that stickiness off my chest. One step at a time. When I get overwhelmed it's so hard to remember that. Now that that thought is present in my mind though I feel a bit calmer. I'm okay. It's going to be okay. Breathe.
-remembering that I have support even if it's almost impossible to tap into it sometimes.
-EGBOK
-the basics
-as always, my friends.
No comments:
Post a Comment