Gratitude on the go! 1-30-13

Today I am grateful for:
-Finding my old LJ account. Turns out I started my gratitude posts in January of 2012. There were just a few entries, but it was fun to see. I'm also just grateful for my lj account in general. I wrote some really wackadoo stuff on there. It reminds me of college. LJ was my college life.
-Amanda giving me a ride to the airport
-seeing Ghassan and his mom at the airport. They both seem to be doing really well.
-having a relatively really smooth plane ride.
-getting to LA safely
-the people who worked at the rental car place. They were super nice and engaging. And really good sales people. They suckered me into getting some insurance, but they sold it so well I couldn't say no. I'm glad I got it though.
-my first rental car. It's a small red Toyota. I just can't escape! :)
-hearing California Love by 2pac feat. Dr. Dre in the car right after I started driving. It's one of my favorite songs. I cranked the volume and rocked out to it. You couldn't wipe the smile off my face even if you tried.
-meeting up with Zarah for some food and catch up.
-laughter
-finding my way to Amy's house after getting epically lost. It was pretty comical.
-Amy's family being so welcoming and letting me stay at their place.
-bedtime chat with Amy.
-the word, "derp."
-so much laughter
-the basics
-feeling truly happy
-living and appreciating the moment
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 1-29-13

Today I am grateful for:
-this quote:
"to be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have."
-Therapy. It was a reflective day, which was nice. I got more homework, which I love/hate.
-My therapist. A quick side note, therapy and therapists get a bad rap. Especially in the media. I hate the stigma around them. My therapist is a fucking genius and wish people understood how incredible therapy can be. I'm not saying it's for everyone, but can we drop the judgement and the poor portrayals please?
-Lunch with padre
-TED Talks. I have yet to watch a TED Talk (Or a TEDx Talk) that has left me uninspired. This one is no exception:

-My 90 minute massage. It was so wonderful.
-a hot shower
-finishing packing.
-watching a movie with Jaime
-talking with Litza on the phone. We've talked more this year than I think in the past two years. We talked about triumphant cooking, friendship, poetry, feminism, and much more. I'm loving it.
-not over thinking today. Some days my thoughts get the best of me. Not today. I felt very present today.
-Laughter
-Creating
-The basics
-As always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 1-28-13

Today I am grateful for:
-This quote:
"Imagination is everything; it is the preview of life's forthcoming attractions."
-Spending the day with Amanda. It was so much fun. We made lunch, finished Luther, and frozen yogurt, and watched Ghost Hunters. Oh, and laughed a lot. It was wonderful and relaxing. 

This was the treat we had.
Peach Mango frozen yogurt with a cookie topping.
#win. 

-Creating
-Group therapy. We had a check in and touched base on how we were feeling about group thus far. What we liked what we didn't. That was really nice. The thing I've liked the most is to have the ability to share feelings with one another and find out that so many of the things we're feeling are the same. It was really nice.

-documentaries. I watched a great one tonight about the greatest sushi maker in the world. It was really cool. It was shot beautifully. 

-Some alone time in the apartment. 

-the basics

-laughter

-as always, my friends. 

Gratitude on the go! 1-27-13

Today I am grateful for:
-Sleeping the sleep of sleeps. It was pretty darn awesome. I had an epic dream.*
-creating
-being inspired. There are just so many incredible people that want to share their passions with others. I'm so grateful for that.
-being able to make dinner at home.
-a late night drive with padre
-the fluffy snow that stuck to the trees.
-the temperature finally increasing.
-Laughter
-the basics
-as always, my friends.

*I was in my apartment (but it was totally not my apartment) and I discovered a whole new wing that had another bedroom and bathroom that was completely furnished. I was so excited that my apartment had more room that could be used in so many different ways. I was exploring the new bathroom when I discovered that two people were living in there! They had an air mattress on the bathroom floor and were sleeping. I quickly called for help because obviously I thought that they had broken in, but then we started talking and although they did break into the apt, they were completely harmless. They were just down on their luck and needed a roof over their heads because they didn't have jobs and they were homeless. I said that they could stay as long as they wanted in the new wing of my apartment considering I didn't even know it existed before that day. However, my dad found out about these new, "visitors" and would not stand for it. He told me he looked into these people and found out that they were not homeless they were breaking into houses to do research of some kind. My dad informed me that he called the cops and they would be here any minute. I quickly ran to tell my new friends that the police were coming for them. Before they left though I stopped one and asked if they lied about being homeless and out of work. They said they did but they could explain. I could hear the sirens close by so I quickly told them to jot down their number for me because I wanted to get to the bottom of this whole thing. I could tell they were good people and whatever the reason was for lying I new their intentions were good. They wrote down their number and then I helped them escape through a secret back door that was more of a big laundry shoot than an actual door.
That's when I woke up. It was super intense. I think it's because I've been watching too much Luther.

Gratitude on the go! 1-26-13

Today I am grateful for:
-A warm cup of tea
-my dad helping fix my headlight on my car
-peanut butter
-the smm
-my coworkers
-laughing
-seeing great theater
-my friend's success
-being present. I found myself thinking about the future today and what all it will hold. I tend to get scared when I think too far ahead into the future. "The unknown." I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. It might not be either good nor bad. Anyway, I found myself starting to get anxious and then I remembered to just be present. We only have this moment right now. And then, we have the next moment and so on and so on. I'm glad I was able to be mindful enough to just focus on the moment at hand and not panic about things that may or may not happen.
-creating
-being inspired.
-the basics
-breathing
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-25-13

Today I am grateful for:
-These quotes:
"Compassion and kindness towards oneself are intrinsically woven into mindfulness."
"Life brings simple pleasures to us everyday. It is up to us to make them wonderful memories."
-A fun day at the SMM
-Dinner with Padre
-The Seward Co-Op.
-The moon at twilight. The sky was a purply blue hue tonight and the almost full moon glowed exceptionally bright.
-Laughter. Again, I might have been the only one laughing at my own stupid joke, but it felt great so I don't care.
-Seeing the show at the workshop tonight. Specifically though Andy Kraft was there with his gf and another friend and they were kind enough to let me sit with them. The show was very funny and even better that I had company to share it with.
-This series of pictures:

The tiniest apple in all the land!
For real. This is not a crab apple.
This is a Real. Apple. 

And it was delicious.
The tiniest apple core in all the land! 

Step 1. Admire.
Step 2. Devour.
Step 3. Empowered. 

We're so excited about to see the show! 

-Creating

-More laughing

-The basics

-As always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-24-13

Today I am grateful for:
-this quote*:

-Breaking Ice. Two shows today in Rochester. Everyone who came really seemed to enjoy themselves.

-A day of exploring. I mean, granted it was Rochester, MN, but it was still really fun. They have the coolest bookstore. I mostly spent my time exploring there.

Here's the bookstore!
It used to be an old movie theater that was renovated.
This picture doesn't really do it justice. 

-The Minnesota State Patrol. Specifically Chris, who was kind enough to stay on the phone with me during my call and until the State Troupers arrived. And then he called me back with an updated report. That was totally unnecessary but completely appreciated.
-Random Acts of Kindness.
-The warmth of my own bed.
-Laughter
-The basics
-As always my friends.

*That quote really resonates with me. When I started therapy (almost two years ago now) I went in because I thought I didn't know who I was. I thought I'd lost myself and I was in a lot of pain. So my journey began hoping that by the end I would find myself and have this Ah-ha! moment and that would be that. Ah-ha! I found myself! I feel great! The end. Story done.
Yeah...notsomuch.
What I did discover though is that I never actually lost myself to begin with. I've always been here, I'm now just opening my eyes and Waking Up and seeing myself and all the wonderment and gratitude and support that surrounds me. With that knowledge I'm creating who I want to be more and more every day. And yes, of course there are still some really dark times that come and go, but that's to be expected. Part of my journey is about leaning into those situations now and learning from them.
Also, I've discovered that there is no beginning or end to this journey. I'm going to always be creating myself. And that idea is beautiful. It gives me so much hope and happiness.

Gratitude on the go! 1-23-13

Today I am grateful for:
-this quote:
"Life isn't as serious as the mind makes it out to be"
-breaking ice
-art journaling
-Netflix
-time to myself
-laughter
-the basics
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 1-22-13

Today I am grateful:
-This quote:
"Sometimes you have to lose your mind before you can come to your senses."
-Therapy. It was a really good session today. We did a lot of exercises and I got homework. I like it when we do that. It feels like tangible process. It's definitely alway progress though.
-Having the strength to ask for what I wanted today in therapy. It was about a 30 second fidget fest (which felt like 5 minutes) before I was able to get any words to come out, but I did it.
-An amazing afternoon/evening. Amanda came over and we went to the movies. And I do mean plural. We totally heisted it up. We first saw Mama, which was terrifying and good until the last 10 minutes. Then it sucked. We followed that up with Zero Dark Thirty, which was all around incredible. Hard to watch at some points, but so good. Of course we got kids pack for our double feature. Oh and because it's Tuesday how much did our tickets cost? Five bucks. And did we then complete the evening by going to get some late night tocs? I can happily confirm that yes we did. BOOM! Can we say success? Yes. Yes we can.
-Finding out that Jurassic Park is coming back into the theaters. I cannot wait to see it. Although I think my favorite part of finding that out was what the disclaimer was at the beginning before the preview: Warning: Intense Science Fiction Terror. Out.Standing!
-Laughter. Man I love laughing. I laughed for real for the first time ever in therapy today. I mean...it was at my own joke, so I prooobably shouldn't still be smiling about it, but it was just too good to resist.
-Finding out Amanda knows about the movie Mermaids. One of my favorite movies for some reason. We were blasting Cher in the car and she told me how she wanted to watch Mermaids and. I. Exploded. Holler!
-Hot Showers.
-Hot tea.
-The basics
-As always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-21-13

Today I am grateful for:
-This quote:
"Good art is not what it looks like, but what it does to us."
-A really fun day at the museum. All of my shows went super smoothly and they were packed! It's so much more fun to do a show with a big crowd.
-Getting time and a half today. MLK Day yo!
-MLK.
-The president's inauguration speech. Here's a highlight from it:
"It is now our generation’s task to carry on what those pioneers began. For our journey is not complete until our wives, our mothers, and daughters can earn a living equal to their efforts. Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law - for if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well. Our journey is not complete until no citizen is forced to wait for hours to exercise the right to vote. Our journey is not complete until we find a better way to welcome the striving, hopeful immigrants who still see America as a land of opportunity; until bright young students and engineers are enlisted in our workforce rather than expelled from our country. Our journey is not complete until all our children, from the streets of Detroit to the hills of Appalachia to the quiet lanes of Newtown, know that they are cared for, and cherished, and always safe from harm."
-This guy rockin out on the street. He had his headphones on and was just belting at the top of his lungs. Didn't care that it was -9º outside or if people were watching. He was just doin his thang. He brought a huge smile to my face.
-The really friendly people at the coffee shop. So kind and fun. 
-Seeing Megan and Jen today. And Henry! (He slept the whole time but he's adorable.) It was really great to see both Megan and Jen at the same time. I love them both dearly. 
-Jen letting me borrow this really awesome cookbook! I can't wait to make some soups! Also some moisturiser for my poor poor dry face. I put some on tonight. No rash so far! 
-group therapy. Today was actually really good. I was dreading it a bit today. But it was very informative. We talking about defenses and the different ways they might manifest. I most definitely recognized the ones that I do. I also believe I'll have a better understanding of other people's defense mechanisms as well.  
-Late night drive with my dad.
-Laughter
-Talking to Amy on the phone. We talked for an hour and a half. Boom. I can't wait to see her in 9 days! Ah! 
-The basics
-Creating 
-As always, my friends 

Gratitude on the go! 1-20-13

Today I am grateful for:
-Sleeping until I couldn't sleep anymore. Without meds. Again.
-Getting a call from my dad! Back in the states yo!
-Watching All Dogs Go To Heaven with Jaime. I freakin love that movie. I realized it still shapes a big part of the way I talk and the weird noises I make. #win.
-My dad getting home safely! I picked him up this evening. It was pretty rad.
-How easy it was to reserve my rental car for LA.
-How affordable it was to rent a car right now.
-Some art journaling and watching Sherlock.
-The basics
-As always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-19-13

Today I am grateful for:
-Sleeping 8 hours. No meds. Just tired. It was kick ass! Knock on wood.
-The SMM
-Jake Scott covering my class tomorrow.
-Jen Scott offering to cover for my class before Jake told me he could.
-Having some time alone in the apartment.
-Closing night of the show. It was really nice. Our volunteer was super great. It happened to be her birthday! She party hard and danced a lot. What a way to close out the night. We also found out that we sold out 52 of our 59 shows during this run and it was the most popular holiday show in the BNW history. That, my friends, is crazy awesome. I feel incredibly honored to be a part of this show.
-The fun chillish after party.
-Snuggling up under my covers. It's -degrees outside. I don't ever want to leave the comfort of my bed!
-Dreaming
-The basics
-As always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-18-13

Today I am grateful for:
-Breaking Ice. It's usually a lot more work because we're creating everything from scratch, but this time we're mostly recreating something we've done before. It's still really fun.
-The toddlers from the daycare at Pillsbury House came in and sang us a song to celebrate Martin Luther King Day. Oh. My. Goodness. I just about exploded from the cuteness. They all went down the line after they sang, "We Shall Overcome" and said, "I am dream of Martin Luther King!" They were so enthusiastic and so adorable. It just really made my day.
-A great penultimate show. The crowd was wild (in a good way) and the energy was so wonderful.
-A super silly set. We were really playful with one another.
-A long phone call with Litza. We haven't really talked in a long long time. It was really nice. She's really good people that Litza. I honestly don't deserve her kindness and friendship. I'm extremely grateful for her.
This quote:
"We cannon cure the world of sorrow, but we can choose to live in joy."
-Laughter
-The basics
-As always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-17-13

Today I am grateful for:
-Sleep. I slept for almost 10 hours last night. I slept until I couldn't sleep anymore. Granted, I didn't go to bed until 1-ish, but I almost slept until 11. Boom bitches! Thats how we do! Talk about feeling like a new person.
-Melatonin
-This video. Thank you Amy Poehler for being such an inspiration.

-Having the day off. I did some more art, I watched some more tv, I made myself some more food. You know, like ya do. :)
-Skying with Bffl.
-A fun show at the workshop. Two more to go!
-A surprise call from Litza! So good to hear from her. I hope to catch up with her more soon. She's good people that Litza.
-A really goofy set. I played a character named Egon. He was the assistant to a scientist named Frankly. By the end of the scene we found out that Frankly was making Twinkies illegally in his lab and was being served by Hostess. Egon took the fall for Frankly though. Frankly said that he couldn't let Egon do that. Egon responded, "Frankly, I don't give a damn." That really made me smile.
-Doodling. My goodness is creating therapeutic.
-The basics
-Seeing the light again.
-As always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-16-13

Today I am grateful for:
-This quote (which goes well with my word of the year):
"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." You must do the thing you think you cannot do." -Eleanor Roosevelt
-the free parking spot by the museum.
-seeing Lydia and celebrated her success with her new job.
-having an evening all to myself. I made myself dinner, I watched mindless tv, and I crafted the shit out of the night. It was pretty damn glorious.
-my journaling class.
-art
-creating
-crafting
-breathing
-the basics
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-15-13

Today I am grateful for:
-This hilariousness:

-My therapist. She laid out the tough shit today and as much as I didn't want to hear it, it was good for me. It gave me a bit of a wake up call. 

-Seeing Christine. We laughed and caught up and cheered each other on in our journey of self love and happiness. It was pretty great.

-Laughter
-Belly laughing
-getting a call from Lydia that she got the job at Target she interviewed for. I am sooo thrilled for her. I'm thankful and grateful that she called to share her moment of joy with me.

-Ladies night. Ruth and Amanda came over and we ate Thai food and finally watched the Golden Globes. We laughed and laughed and laughed. I love those gals.
-This belated Christmas gift from Ruth:

It's a necklace with a tiny heart and Minnesota on it.
It's probably the greatest necklace I've ever received.
I love it and I'm probably going to be wearing it every day. 

-The term Gratituesday. I don't know who came up with that word, so I can't properly credit them, but they are awesome. Well done whoever you are! 

-Coming up with my word of the year. Looking back on last year I want to say my word was Gratitude. It only seems fitting. :) It was a bit of a struggle to figure out what my new word was going to be. I looked though my notes on what patters arose. Quite a few came up, but at the top of my list was self care. Whenever I take care of myself I feel the best. (A no brainer. Duh) However, self care wasn't the word(s) I was looking for. I started to think about what I am still striving for. A few more themes came to mind. Working out, reaching out, and being heard. Looking at those words a final word came into my mind and that word is STRONG. (Or maybe Strength. Strength is a noun and Strong is an adjective. Do I want to be described as strong or embody strength. Is there a difference? For now I'm going to stick with strong.) I would like to be strong in ever aspect. I would like to be strong physically, emotionally, and soulfully. I want to work out to get my body strong in a healthy way. If I'm in struggle and I need help, I'm going to call upon my strength to reach out and ask for it. If I feel like I'm not being heard, I'm going to work on being strong and saying what I need until I get it. These are all going to be really hard things for me, but I know I can do it because I know I am Strong.
-The moon shining in through my dining room window. It looks like a yellowy cradle or a hammock tonight. It's very beautiful.
-Getting a lovely text from bffl.
-The basics
-Breathing
-As always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-14-13

Today I am grateful for:
-the Tea Garden being open at 7am.
-getting to do a voice over with Megan! The material was hard so it was nice to see a familiar face. I feel pretty honored to get to work with her.
-the barely visible rainbow I saw early this morning. It was so faint it was almost invisible. I imagine if rainbows could have shadows that's what it would look like.
-This quote:
"Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow"
-talking gibberish for an hour and getting paid to do it. :)
-babysitting Ila and Lena. I really love those girls. It's been forever since I sat for them. Lena is talking up a storm and Ila just turned 7! She's so creative and wonderful. The fact that Lena wanted to try to play (and can say the word) ukulele just made me beyond giddy. It was really sweet.
-my journaling class. This week is all about doodling. I just learned that people who doodle retain 29% more information that people who don't. We got some great prompts for inspiration but it's all very free form and we can draw what ever we want. Although my colored pencils are pretty bomb, I might be looking into some markers. Sharpies perhaps? :)
-This journal. I was in a small shame storm about 15 minutes ago. My chest was warm, my legs were tingly, my pulse was racing, etc.Then I climbed into bed and started to look over all the great things that just happened today! My thoughts are calmer, my breathing is back to normal, and I'm feeling way more relaxed. (I'd talk about it more but I don't want to get worked up again.) Gratitude is an incredible healer.
-Laughter
-The basics
-As always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-13-13

Today I am grateful for:
-This quote:
"Growth hurts because change isn't easy, that's why they call it growing pains."
-Seeing Amanda for the first time in weeks
-the opportunity to help people when I can. I love to help people. I can't help it. It's in my nature.
-Hannah's ability to say it like it is. I respect her more for being assertive. I wish I had the ability to do that. I struggle so much to stand up for what I want. It's so not in my nature.
-The beautiful moon. It was actually more of a sliver of the moon tonight, but you could see the outline of the whole moon as well. It was really breathtaking.
-Tacos
-The basics
-Other people's happiness.
-Snuggling with a cute kitty.
-As always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-12-13

Today I am grateful for:
-This quote:
"Creativity is a natural extension of our enthusiasm."
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
-The sunshine today. It might be balls ass cold outside, but at least it's sunny.
-My boss at the SMM making me laugh extremely hard. She's so great.
-My wonderful co-workers
-Jen Scott
-Phil who works upstairs in Elements Cafe. He's probably just a big flirt, but he paid me a lot of compliments (even after I forgot his name) that really made me smile.
-Jen sharing this lovely, albeit a bit morbid, cartoon. 
-The Minneapples set.
-The basics
-As always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-11-13

Today I am grateful for:
-This quote:
"A truly compassionate attitude toward others does not change even if they behave negatively or hurt you."
-This blog post. I had to stifle my laughter at work I was laughing so hard.
-Random acts of kindness.
-TGIFriday! Today I am Thankful for the Seward Co-op's deli. I am grateful for all the support that surrounds me. I am Inspired by the power of kindness.
-A fun improv set
-Being able to lie down for a bit. I wanted to nap but my brain was too active.
-The new phone app I got that has a lot of different ambience sounds. Brown noise is my personal favorite. It sounds gross but it mostly sounds like a fan that is far away. I didn't know there were different types of white noise. Learn something new every day.
Recognizing my shame gremlins are present and trying to not let them take over.
-Reassurance
-Music
-Smiling
-The basics
-As always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-10-13

Today I am grateful for:
-This quote:
"Look past your thoughts, so you may drink the pure nectar of this moment."
-getting to hang out with Jen today. She's honestly one of the best people I know.

This picture really sums it up.
What does it sum up?
Nobody knows. 

-Having meaningful conversations.
-Seeing the Terracotta Warriors at the MIA today. Lauren gave me free tickets because she couldn't find a time to go unfortunately. It was really cool. The curator of the exhibit happened to be there giving a tour to some people and I totally tagged along. Tee hee! 

-This complimentary post on facebook from Maya.

This post really made me feel good.
I love making mix CDs.
I also haven't spoken to Maya in years!
So it was nice just to hear from her in general. 

-My journaling course. 

-Being able to watch some tv. 

-Gchat

-Laughter

-The basics

-As always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-9-13

Today I am grateful for:
-the warm weather. It was feeling pretty March-y out there.
-the brownie that I ate after dinner. :)
-having some relaxation time
-having the apartment to myself for a bit
-seeing a show with a friend. The show was pretty terrible, but it was a good spectacle with some incredible costumes.
-laughter.
-being able to make people smile.
-leaning into joy.
-leaning into discomfort.
-NUTS.
-not being too hard on myself
-breathing
-letting things go.
-music
-making lists. My journaling class has inspired me to start making list. It feels really good to cross off items on my list of things to do.
-my journaling class
-the basics,
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-8-13

Today I am grateful for:
-Seeing Marit. It felt so great to get a lot of what I was feeling off my chest. I was able to talk about group, and my trepidation about my trip, and my melt down. Next week: boys. If I can muster it.
-Having lunch with Hannah at Brasa. It was both a great meal and company.

My delicious Brasa meal. #sogood!

-my friend Anna coming over and catching up. We wrote a song about Downton Abby. It was pretty hilarious.
-Laughter
-My downstairs neighbor giving me a GIANT chocolate cake/brownie thing. "It's like a giant doorstop!"-Anna.
-My journaling class.
-The basics
-As always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-7-13

Today I am grateful for:
-Starting my new journaling class! So far so good. Our first assignment was to do two pages of morning writing ever day for the rest of the course. I was worried that would be really challenging, but it actually was pretty great. It was very stream of consciousness. I'm excited for day 2!
-Seeing Megan and Henry. They seem to be doing well.
-The gorgeous weather. I mean, for January. It was just a really bright sunny day with a decent temperature.
-my new therapy group. In all honesty I'm still a bit hesitant about it. Mostly because of how its being run. It's big on agenda and not so much about reflection, which seems odd. However I am grateful for the people in the group and their courage to show up and be there.
-getting a lot of emails done today.
-starting a new book.
-my aunt Pat. She sent me an email just to check in with me. I haven't seen her for a long time but it's always good to hear from her. I think it's fair to say that she is someone I aspire to be like. She has a caring soul and a kind smile that always brings me joy. There's a warmth she seems to give out to everyone around her. I really admire that.
-this beautiful picture of my two cousins:

Jaylen and his new baby brother Avery.
My heart melts from the cuteness.

-the basics
-daring greatly
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-6-13

Today I am grateful for:
-This quote:
"We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same."
"grey skies are just clouds passing over."
-Rediscovering this video:

-The Tiny Funny Women Fest. There was a panel today called, "Coping with Comedy: How laughter gets us through the darkest times." I really loved this panel. People opened up about their experience with quitting their job, to being a victim of a hit and run accident, to being a survivor of assault, to going through chemo. It was a really wonderful panel that was so smart and supportive. I am beyond grateful to be a part of a community that supports one another so much. There was one thing that one of the panelist said that really resonated with me. She was talking about this woman who was learning how to deep sea dive. Her instructor told this woman that once she was in the water she could turn on her oxygen mask. However, it takes a few seconds before the oxygen starts to flow. A lot of people at that point start to get nervous, but her instructor said, "Don't panic, because the oxygen will come." I found that to be a beautiful image. In times of struggle, don't panic. The oxygen will come.
-seeing some great improv. Youth and adults.
-Laughter
-holding an adorable baby. She was all smiles and stretched her arms out to me to pick her up. #melt.
-seeing Emily before she goes back to LA one last time.
-The basics
-As always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-5-13

Today I am grateful for:
-This quote:
"Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out."
-My new baby cousin, Avery! Everyone is doing well I'm told.

Avery with his dad Ben. #soproud!

-Leaning into discomfort. I'm in struggle a bit today, but I'm taking the time to let it out and let it go rather than push it down and let it fester. It's hard. It doesn't feel good, but I know in the end it's the better choice. 

-All the support I have in my life. Even if I don't take advantage of it, I know that it's there. 

-Some solitude. 

-Hot showers

-The basics

-As always, my friends. 

Gratitude on the go! 1-4-13

Today I am grateful for:
-My new journaling class. Well, it actually hasn't started yet, but I'm excited for it. I'm a bit nervous as well for some reason. I guess it's because I still have a hard time not comparing the things I create with others people's creations. However, the instructor has assured us that we don't have to share anything at all if we don't want to. It's just for us. I love that we have that option. I might want to share. I'm definitely excited about seeing what other people are going to be creating. And not in a comparison way, but in a curious way. I want this course to also be about opening up and connecting with others. I'm excited!
-This quote:
"Intense love does not measure, it just gives."
-The great decor in the Marquette mall's halls. I was looking up at it so intensely that I ran into a "caution: slippery when wet" sign. It was pretty embarrassing, but also pretty funny. Haha just WHAM! Right into it.
-Not a lot of people seeing me run into a "caution: slippery when wet" sign. :)
-The sunshine. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. I sometimes think that's what makes the winters here bearable.
-Taking a 45 minute nap! I've never been a napper, but I'm totally cool with becoming one. :)
-Andy making me full on break on stage. Now I know that is not the best thing to do as an actor, but what he did was so damn funny I couldn't help but just love every second of it. A lot of people get up in arms about stuff like that, but who cares! It means that a good time is being had. Not to mention the audience loves those moments too. I regret nothing!
-Uncontrollable laughter.
-An incredible audience!
-Having time by myself in the apartment. It's a little easier to relax on occasion.
-The basics
-As always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-3-13

Today I am grateful for:
-This quote:
"compassion and happiness are not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength."
-This video:

-Laughter
-Being silly
-Daring Greatly
-A great audience
-The basics
-As always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 1-2-13

Today I am grateful for:
-These quotes:
"The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is gratitude."
"Not what we have but what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance."
-A fun day at the museum.
-Having dinner with Hannah. It's been forever since I've seen her. It was great to catch up.
-Getting together with Lydia. It has also been forever since I've seen her.
-The fresh coat of fluffy snow that fell today. It stuck to the tree branches in a really beautiful way. Like each branch contained a landscape of snowy hillsides.
-An email from Amy. She shared her 2013 goals with me. It also made me focus on what my goals will be for the new year. I really hadn't thought about any specific goals yet. (The new year honestly kind of snuck up on me.) Anyway, here are some areas that I'd like to continue to work on and create movement in:

•Yoga. I miss yoga so much. I miss the way it made me feel. I'm activity looking for a new (affordable) studio to join. I already have several studios on the books.

•Meditation. It's a hard practice for me but one I'd like to continue pursuing it. I guess that goes in with yoga, but I'd like to work on it separately as well. 

•Journaling. I've been journaling every day since mid June of last year and I'd like to continue that practice. I actually just signed up for an online class called CREATE.2013. It is a four week guided journaling course to help reflect and  review the successes that have happened for me this past year. So every Monday-Friday I'll receive prompts, exercises, and meditations via email to help me journal, which will hopefully lead to formulating my best intentions for 2013. There's gonna be all sorts of different journaling activities including art journaling (with photography!). I'm pretty excited about it. #bangorang!

•Being present. I find myself far too often checking out when things get rough or I don't want to really make an effort in conversation or even when I just have a few minutes to kill. I immediately turn to my phone. I'd like to work on putting down my phone and focusing that "white space" time in a more productive manner. (I think I'm becoming an accidental Buddhist.)

•Relationships. I'd like to continue to grow the relationships that I have with the people I care about. Near and far. I completely agree with you that even when you're swamped you always have time for drinks/dinner with friends. Friends should definitely be a priority. Something I'd like to do this year is have some, "family dinners." Meaning getting together with a few friends every couple of weeks and cook a meal and sit down together and catch up. I think this might be one of the most challenging things to accomplish, but I think it's important to at least try.

•Romantic relationships. It feels like a forever up hill battle but one I'm not ready to throw in the towel for just yet. I just need to continue working on believing that I am worthy of love and belonging romantically. 

-Having the apartment to myself. I've been able to watch some TV and just enjoy the space by myself. It's been lovely.
-Laughter
-The basics
-As always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 1-1-13

Today I am grateful for:
-Staying in bed until the afternoon. What a sweet sweet luxury.
-Hearing that padre made it safe to his destination. I'm definitely relieved.
-Doing the milk rice with mom. It flowed over evenly. :)
-Catching up with Anna. We went and saw Les Mis. It wasn't the best, but I'm glad I saw it.
-Downton Abby. I finished it today. It was wonderful, as usual. Alright I admit it. I'm obsessed.
-This collage of goals for 2013. I agree with them wholeheartedly. I think they're meant to be resolutions, but I don't really agree with resolutions anymore. It makes things seem so definite. I think they're better viewed as goals.

Stolen from Jaime. 

-The basics

-Laughter

-As always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 12-31-12

Today I am grateful for:
-these quotes:
"Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight."
"A "no" uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a "yes" merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble."
-This past year. A lot of truly wonderful things happened. Yes, of course there were some really trying times, but the good most definitely outweighed the bad. This past year I learned how really lean into discomfort instead of blocking it out or pushing it down. A by product of that has also been leaning into joy. As a result for the first time in a long time I have felt genuinely happy. It has been fantastic.
-Inspiration. If I had to sum up this last year with one word I think it would be inspiring. I have been inspired by a plethora of places, people, and things. To name them all would be almost impossible. (Thank goodness I've written most of them down on this blog.) However there are definitely a few big things that pop into my mind:
•The Brave New Workshop. I started working there the first week of January in 2012. It still shocks me when I think about the fact that I was asked to be on the main stage of the company that changed my life when I was 15 years old. My dad signed me up for an improv class on a whim. That class opened my eyes to a new art form that changed the way I viewed performing. The improvisers that I watched and were inspired by from a distance are many of my co-workers now. I still cannot believe it. I am so, so, so grateful.
•My therapist. She is beyond inspiring. Her patience with me while I continue to wade through some seriously murky times is always exactly what I need. Her advice constantly motivates me to push forward down this path of self love and acceptance, even when it seems impossible. Her professionalism always impresses me and influences me to carry myself in a more appropriate manner. I'm forever grateful for her help. If I was as good at my job as she is at counseling, I would be a Oscar winner.
•Blogs. I have read some truly inspiring blogs this year. Some of them are blogs of my friends (e.i Litza and Jen) and some of them are complete strangers (e.i Jenny Lawson, Brene Brown, Karen Walrond.) Regardless if I know them or not, sometimes other people are able to capture moments with words (or pictures) better than I could ever even try to attempt. However it inspires me to continue to write and hone in on my own blog voice. I recently read a entry on Karen Walrond blog where she went back and reposted some of her favorite pictures that she took during the year as way of reflecting on all the wonderful things that have happened to her. I felt inspired by this idea so I went back and looked though all of my pictures I took this last year. Here are a few several pictures that I feel are truly beautiful in their own way and have brought me much joy and laughter.

My beautiful city on a summers day.

This trading card that will always remind me that I played a pirate for about a year.

This giant piece of hail. 

Nora visiting.

Ruth's band aided feet.

These feet. 

My favorite kind of mic. 

This picture of Ruth and I.

These earrings.

This pic reminding me how this outfit made me feel beautiful. 

This giant pig really capturing the essence of the State Fair

My wonderful friends. 

The beginning of my love for crafting. 

The composition of this picture. 

This obligatory fall tree picture

The way the light hit these leaves. 

When Obama got reelected. 

The wellbeing lecture where I saw Brene Brown speak.

My pumpkin.

My tiny Christmas tree. 

-All the little things that seem mundane, but when reflecting back are what makes me really happy.

-The basics

-Daring Greatly

-As always, my friends.