Today I am grateful for:
-Therapy
-being open with myself.
-being present to the issues I have with my mom. It's so hard. It's like she speaks Swahili and I speak French and neither one of us is going to be able to learn the other language. That realization is extremely difficult to come to terms with and accept. A lot of shame is brought up with this. The whole, "I'm not good enough," "I should just try harder," "She doesn't deserve this. I'm a terrible daughter." Trying to put those voices of shame to bay is hard. My therapist is helping me be able to do this. Slowly but surely. Even if my mom and I will never speak each other's language, we can always learn a third language that we can both speak. It might not be either one of our native languages, but it's least one we can both understand one another in some way. We could also get a translator.
-starting another Breaking Ice show. It really is hard stuff. We had to do a lot of movement stuff. A lot of lifting each other off the ground. It really scares me. I'm so self conscious. I'm all about lifting others, I am not all about being lifted. It's a great time to practice being present, trust myself, and dare greatly.
-Daring Greatly.
-Kevin getting the job he wanted!
-walking to the park with Calvin. We're just quite. Enjoying the moment.
-yogurt
-meeting up with Nathan and Mary at the Bryant Lake Bowl. It's been almost 2 years since I've seen Nathan. It was nice to shoot the shit and catch up.
-the box exercise
-a nice long shower.
-laughter
-as always, my friends
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