Gratitude on the go! 5-31-13

Today I am grateful for:
-waking up a bit earlier than my alarm
-a busy day at the museum
-getting out of the museum earlier than I thought and got to rehearsal basically on time.
-reading this awesome book still. Seriously it's so good. I'm so grateful when I read/see/hear/ about how  everyone is basically the same. In the end we all want to love and be loved. We all want connection. Amen to that.
-a really fun improv set. Super patient, great characters, fun games. I felt good about my work. And that makes me happy.
-laughter.
-being present. I'm present right now to how in high school people used to make fun of my laugh. My laugher came in very loud outbursts. A bit like a guffaw but higher pitched than you might consider a guffaw to be. "BAH HA HA HAHAAA!" I used to call it my beast laugh. People would mimic me and what my laugh sounded like. "Your laugh is sooo loud! I got scared of your laugh! Your laugh is so intense, jeez! I would feel so ashamed. I used to hide my laugh or try to laugh quieter or sometimes even silently.  My beast laugh would only come out if something was extremely, outrageously, funny that I couldn't contain the beast inside anymore. Tonight I realized while I was laughing on stage at something hilarious that I no longer hide my beast laugh. I pretty much openly laugh like that all the time. No one complains or makes fun of me. In fact, I believe that it's contagious. :)
-the really nice enthusiastic picture taking audience.
-the basics
-ice cream
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 5-30-13

Today I am grateful for:
-a leisurely morning.
-crafting
-a short but sweet shoot at the workshop
-lauren lending me this incredible book:

I read 60 pages in an hour. And I'm a slow reader.
I also discovered I can't read this book in public.
I almost openly started crying. It's a beautiful book.

-Ruth texting me that she's about to start reading Daring Greatly. I might have got a little too excited. 

-laughter

-the basics

-as always, my friends 

Gratitude on the go! 5-29-13

Today I am grateful for:

-seeing a log full of turtles!
-the weather this morning. High sixties and the sun was shinning.
-This quote:
"Joy is who we are if we're not preoccupied with something else."
-Podcasts
-receiving a speedy email reply with one of my voice overs I did for Target. I sent an email asking for it around 10:30 and got a reply about a half hour later. Matt, the engineer, sent it to me. I really appreciate his kindness and speed. Plus it was super cool to hear too. :)
-Amanda calling me to say that she was driving right next to me. #instantmemory.
-a short rehearsal
-the kindness of strangers. I thought my headlight was out so I went to a repair store to fix it but it turns out it was just loose. They fixed it free of charge and didn't make me feel like an idiot. Then I went to paper source for a crafting item and the woman behind the desk, who was literally leaving work, took the time to help me find what I needed.
-making dinner at home
-catching up with Brain via gchat
-laughter
-seeing a late night movie with Padre. Hang Over 3. It was fine. Everything I expected it would be.
-a sense of peace
-the basics
-my fan
-kindness in general
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 5-28-13

Today I am grateful for:
-My therapist. As always, she knows exactly what I need. I was able to talk about how I struggle with asking for what I want/need. She then just asked me what I wanted. And wouldn't you know, when the opportunity presented itself I honestly didn't know. I also cannot recall ever being asked that before. It felt so foreign. I started to cry. Because when I don't know what to do these days I usually end up laughing or crying. I usually laugh to keep from crying or to ward off the tears in the first place. Although a combination of both is what actually ends up happening. Which is just a-okay for now.
-being able to use the scanner at my dad's work
-first day of rehearsal going well.
-having hot chocolate and catching up with Anna W. It was actually really nice.
-the honor of babysitting for Megan. Henry was pretty good for most of the night. Very cute kid.
-all the babysitting opportunities I've gotten in the past
-late night drives with padre. It's just peaceful sometimes. No talking. Just driving. It's really peaceful.
-the basics
-melatonin
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 5-27-13

Today I am grateful for:
-Sleeping in.
-the weather being decent enough for me to go for a run/walk
-Arrested Development
-having dinner and going for a drive with padre
-crafting.
-finally making headway with my subway art project! *squee!*
-melatonin
-finally starting to feel a bit better emotionally. We'll see where I'm at tomorrow, but for now I feel better. One day at a time.
-the basics
-these quotes:
"Failure is success if we learn from it."
"The greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising up every time we fall."
"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love."
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 5-26-13

Today I am grateful for:
-Arrested Development
-being able to stay in bed until 3pm
-Spending the afternoon and evening with Ruth. We went and saw Fast And Furious 6. It was actually pretty good. Lots of action. Lots of buff men. Lots of ridiculous stunts. Lots of winning. Then we went to the Good Earth and had a really amazing meal. Then we went back to my place and watched Django Unchained. Man I freaking love that movie. No. I'm sorry. I fucking love that movie! It is just so incredibly awesome. It was Ruth's first time seeing it. She said she really liked it. Because really what's not to like. Then we actually caught up on life and that was really great. Today was a success. A completely lazy, awesome success.
-the basics
-being present.*
-ice cold water
-as always, my friends.

 *I'm present to the fact that I still don't really know how to open up to people about what I want/need. I hate to say it but I recognize that I'm a bit of a chameleon. Sometimes that's a good thing, some times that's a bad thing. If I'm in a shitty place but other people are not, I can usually adapt to my surroundings pretty quickly. I know a big part of that is because of work. You gotta leave your baggage at the door when it comes to my line work. Use it or loose it. It's harder to use a shitty attitude with comedy. In my opinion. I know a lot of people use that to their advantage. I also have to remember that my wants/needs are important too. I just don't know how to ask for them. The words don't come. I think that's because I unfortunately feel that my wants/needs are stupid and not worthy of attention. I feel that the few times that I've really opened up about what's going on with me, it feels like it's too much for people to handle. Or they're there with me in the moment, but then they don't want to have any more moments with me like that in the future. I'm too much of a debby downer. However, I'm not a fortune teller, so I don't actually know what they're thinking because I don't ask them. Because I don't know how. Again, back to having trouble expressing my wants/needs.
I also am present to the fact that when I think like this it usually means I'm in a slump. And by slump I mean depressed. Woof. It's hard for me to even write the word depressed, but that might be what this is. These thoughts I'm having I know are not true. I know that, but I don't know that. Depression lies. And I've always said I hate liars. But when I can't talk about how I'm actually feeling and what I want/need does that make me a liar? Do I hate myself? That is a hard question.
Oy. I'm still really upset about Jake. I can only hope that he's in a better place. I am grateful that I've always been a pretty hopeful/optimistic person. And I am very hopeful that things will get better. It will be okay.

Gratitude on the go! 5-25-13

Today I am grateful for:
-waking up from a nightmare and realizing that I was okay. It was actually a night terror. I'm so glad that not of it was real. It felt so real.
-the smm
-meeting up with Lydia for ice cream.
-my therapist. She's helped so many people.
-a wonderful audience.
-the post it note in my wallet.
-the basics
-melatonin
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 5-24-13

Today I am grateful for:

-sleeping for a solid 8 hours. From 11pm to 7am. (am then I snoozed for an hour so really 9 hours) 

-podcasts.
-working with Augsburg Fortress
-lunch with Jen! It was so excellent. Both seeing Jen and lunch. Oscar slept the whole time. What a champ! Jen really does bring a smile to my face every time I see her.
-the weather being nice enough to bike/walk/run outside.
-laughter
-remembering to live in the moment. I know there are days that I wish time would just go faster or that a moment would be over quicker. However I do wish I was able to sit in those moments a bit more. Not dwell on those moments, not over think those days, but just embrace them. They happened. They're done. It's time to stop rushing. I want to practice enjoying.
-the basics
-comfy covers
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 5-23-13

Today I am grateful for:
-lauren driving to our corporate gig
-pairing up with Andy for most of the day
-getting to be in pairs in general
-getting a free lunch
-puns
-being able to leave at 3pm from our gig
-being able to nap
-getting a free dinner
-laughter
-the basics
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 5-22-13

Today I am grateful for:
-podcasts
-the beautiful blooming trees. So many vivid colors.
-the rain. It really is soothing.
-Jake Huzenis. I found out today that he past away. I'm not exactly sure what happened, but it seems like he took his own life. I'm in shock and deeply saddened by this. I honestly hadn't spoken to him in 7 years I think? It doesn't matter. He was such a funny and quirky guy. I remember we used to take walks at night around Pitzer just talking about whatever. His box audition was outstanding and he brought so much funny stuff to the table. He always made me laugh. He also loved baseball with a fiery passion. I'm just so sad. Depression is a fucking liar.
-swearing
-laughter
-stupid jokes
-dinner with Padre
-the basics
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 5-21-13

Today I am grateful for:

-this quote:

"We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves, otherwise we harden."
-NUTS. I just renewed my contract with them and did a VO demo review. It was super, super helpful. Laura said my name in the same sentence as Kim Kivens and Greta Grosch. What?! I feel so honored.
-Seeing Dawn for a little bit. She's just the greatest! She brought a huge smile to my face
-Lunch with Padre
-Augsburg Fortress.
-Fucking Swearing.
-The rain. It's been really nice actually. I think it soothes me.
-having the apartment to myself. I was able to watch tv and make dinner
-being able to see Josh. He was back in town for just one night.
-Chatting briefly with Litza.
-Late night car rides with Padre
-feeling sleepy at bedtime
-the basics
-laughter
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 5-20-13

Today I am grateful for:
-waking up naturally. I got about 8 hours of sleep still.
-the motivation to go for a run
-podcasts
-making breakfast at home
-walgreens
-going to see Jen and Oscar and Jen's mom. They let me stay at the house for two hours holding Oscar and catching up. It was really wonderful. Lots of smiles all around.
-group. It was better. There was still a lot of talk about mom stuff which was still challenging. We talked about shame too which was hard but good.
-one of the ladies in the group being around my age. It's really helpful. I think we might be becoming friends too. Added bonus!
-hanging out with Amanda. Such a fun evening. Went to her restaurant and dominated some food, drank some Crispin, and devoured a piece of tres leches cake. Got some popcorn materials and went back to her place and watched Cabin In The Woods. Lots of laughter was had. So awesome. I enjoy our weekly lady dates. :)

Things are about to get a whole lot more awesome.

-laughter

-youtube 

-actually being sleepy

-compassion 

-the basics

-as always, my friends. 

Gratitude on the go! 5-19-13

Today I am grateful for:
-sleeping a solid 8 hours.
-these quotes:
"Personal growth is not a matter of learning new information but of unlearning old limits."
"Change is a scary business, even when we're actively seeking it."
-making breakfast at home
-my bike
-the stormy weather. I think it's actually been helping me sleep.
-the smell of fresh rain
-babysitting Calvin. He actually let me talk to him and play with him this time around. That's definitely a new thing.
-dinner with padre
-improv a go go. It was their 11 year anniversary tonight. It was really great to watch the show and be a part of the experience.
-Butch Roy. I am so incredibly grateful for all the opportunities that he's given me over the years. He's such a solid dude and an outstanding improviser.
-Amanda inviting me to help work on an art car at Bedlem. It was really great to hang out and basically craft on a larger scale.
-Laughter
-the basics
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 5-18-13

Today I am grateful for:
-The ten goddamn funniest cat gifs of the week. 
-A busy day at the museum
-seeing Brittany again before she leaves. We had a bomb ass sushi lunch. It was great. 
-a really solid improv set. 
-the basics
-rediscovering Eastenders 
-as always, my friends 

Gratitude on the go! 5-17-13

Today I am grateful for:
-getting 8 hours of sleep
-a busy day at the museum
-my co-workers
-this quote:
"A true friend is someone who is there for you when they would rather be someplace else."
-my ipad
-making food at home
-laughter
-a kick ass volunteer for the show. She told an amazing true story.
-my dad. He got a prestigious award today from Macalester. Phi Beta Kappa! I'm so proud.

I never thought I would see the day...
my dad is wearing a tie!
Oh yeah and he's a genius. 

-the basics

-actually being sleepy

-as always, my friends. 

Gratitude on the go! 5-16-13

Today I am grateful for:
-my therapist. I saw her again this morning. Things are much calmer than in the beginning of the week. It was nice. I really appreciated at the end her just kind of having a conversation with me. More back and forth as opposed to just one sided. I'm sure she was very careful with what she said but still. It was nice. I'm not going to be seeing her next week but I have high hopes that it'll be just fine.
-nap #1. After my appointment I drove around the lakes, pulled over, and went to sleep. It was great pretty great. I had that thing happen where my brain was awake, but my body wouldn't move. I definitely needed to sleep.
-AAA. It really pays for itself.
-a fun and easy photo shoot.
-The Bloggess. She continues to be a hero of mine. Here's another reason why.
-nap #2. Just passed out again in the living room. It was amazing.
-Andy willing to go to work early and work on jokes for the news.
-laughter
-getting a call from Litza. I wasn't able to answer unfortunately, but I'm glad she called.
-a great improv set. Super patient and heavily character/relationship based.
-seeing Star Trek Into Darkness. It. Was. So. Good. All of my nerdy cravings were satisfied.
-the smell of fresh rain.
-the weather once again rockin it out.
-the basics
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 5-15-13

Today I am grateful for:

-my roommate reminding me to move my car because it's no parking on the street.

-the kids from seats to stage rocking out their showcase! I knew they would. 

-all the kids that were brave enough to get up and share their work. 

-this quote:

"the best way to get what you want is to be what you are."
-the incredible weather. High 70s with a nice breeze? Yes please and thank you. 
-a fantastic afternoon/evening with Amanda, Ruth, and Brittany. Amanda, Brittany and I all went to go see a movie. A Place Beyond The Pines. It was okay. Too long in my opinion. But it didn't matter because it only cost $5! Then we went to Psycho Suzi's and got a drink and hung out on their patio to enjoy the phenomenal weather. We then just started to gush about how awesome we all were to each other. THEN we went to Brasa where Ruth met up with us and we basically ordered everything on the menu. Like...for real. Including dessert. (And in the end we only paid $15 a person! Say Whaaat!) We also continued to gush about one another and almost cried in the process. Then Ruth and Brittany came over to my place and we watched SYTYCD even though the recording was super messed up. We closed the night out with some SNL though so it was all good. While sitting on the patio I really did realize how lucky I am to have such outstanding friends. It was great. I really needed today. 
-laughter
-the basics
-the strength of others
-as always, my friends 

Gratitude on the go! 5-14-13

Today I am grateful for:
-my therapist. I am grateful that she just sits in whatever I'm going through with me.
-my therapist finding the time to meet with me again this week.
-being able to ask for some reassurance. And then getting it.
-a little space between my various things today
-laughter
-sushi
-Ruthie and Brittany coming over and watching SYTYCD and The Voice.
-the focus and peace that crafting and drawing give me.
-Amy and I's gchat conversation last night before bed. I'm so glad she's my person. I don't have to hold back or apologize for myself. And she does the same. It's pretty great.
-the outstanding weather. 95 degrees! So funny to think that two weeks ago we were literally in a snow emergency.
-the basics
-remembering that it's going to be okay
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 5-13-13

Today I am grateful for:

-subbing for Shanan at AGAPA. 

-the fastest voiceover in my life. I did one line in gibberish and then got to go home. BOOM!

-meeting up with Jen and Megan and their babies for pizza. 

Pizza, babies, and a photo booth.
Oh my! 

-Ann Kim rockin out her pizza businesses!
-Minnesota making history today. MN senate passed the vote for same sex marriage.

I really didn't think I could love MN any more.
I was so wrong! 

-playing with Lena and Ila at the park. It was seriously so much fun. Those girls bring a huge smile to my face. It was really needed. 

-group. Even when it's really hard and I'm doing everything in my power to just stay in the room.

-late night car rides with padre 

-getting the nicest cop that pulled me over. I had an expired insurance card, a head light out, and my fuzzy dice hanging from my window. He let me off with just a warning on all of those things. Thank you really nice man. 

-chino latino with Emily. It's been too long. It was awesome. 

-laughter*

-the basics

-as always, my friends 

*quick antidote. Yesterday when I sitting in my car being a hot mess, I thought to myself I don't know how it could get much worse. At that exact moment a black cat crossed right in front of my car. And for some reason, that couldn't have been a funnier thing. It helped me get out of my deep funk for the night.

Gratitude on the go! 5-12-13

Today I am grateful for:

-walking with Emily for her sister and all people who are hoping, fighting, and surviving.

-padre giving me a ride early this morning. 

-The Bloggess once again putting words to thoughts that are sometimes too hard for me to figure out how to express on my own. Thank you for this quote:

"Today is Mother’s Day, and while I think that being a mom is a crazy-hard job it’s also one that most of us wouldn’t trade for the world, so it’s always been a bit odd to me that we get to be mothers and we also get a day to celebrate it.  Not that I’m judging you.  Celebrate the hell out of yourself.  You deserve it.

But you know who else deserves it?  The women who have struggled to be, or are still struggling to be moms.  The women who want children but just aren’t in a safe place in life to have them.  The women who don’t want kids and have to listen to a bunch of bullshit about how you’re only worthwhile if you’ve pushed a human out of your vagina.  The women who miss the children they once had.  The women who miss the children they lost before they ever met them.  The women who gave up their children so their child could have a better life than they could provide.  The women who were raised motherless, or with shitty mothers, or who have lost their mothers and are reminded of how alone they feel.  Mother’s Day is a confusing, weird, very-seldom-wrapped-up-with-a-nice-commercial-bow sort of day, and as for me, I salute you all – mothers or not…you’re here.  You’re alive.  You continue to survive.  You are worthwhile and wonderful.  Never forget that."
-Being present. I'm present today about how mother's day is extremely difficult. I'm gonna dare a little bit here and share some thoughts about my mom. This might be a hot mess because my brain feels like scrambled eggs.
Let me start out by saying I love my mom. I love her so much it actually, physically, hurts. She is a kind, beautiful, unique, and incredibly sensitive individual who loves with her whole heart. She has an amazing singing voice that has on more than one occasion moved me to tears. She has a peculiar yet delightful sense of humor and an even more hilarious cackling laugh. One of my favorite things is when my mom starts laughing really hard she always ends up running to the bathroom yelling, "I'M GONNA PEE! I'M GONNA PEE! I'M GONNA PEE!" Which of course makes everyone else laugh even harder. Also there's also no doubt about it, when it comes to cooking, my mom is literally a diva. My goodness she is an extraordinary gifted chef.  When I was growing up the highest complement in the world to me was, "You are your mother's child."
However, my relationship with my mom is complicated. It has been that way for an extremely long time. It boils down to a few different factors but the best way to describe it is we just don't speak the same language. I honestly don't know if we ever will. I get so angry with myself about it. There is some anger towards her, but mostly it's towards myself. I feel like I'm not trying hard enough to mend our broken connection. I'm told by my therapist that I am trying very hard, but it doesn't feel that way at all. I'm crippled with shame about it. My mom just doesn't seem to understand and I haven't found the words to properly express it to her. And like I said, I don't know if there will ever be the right words. The only words that run around in my head like a broken record are, "What can I do? What can I do? I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! What can I do? What can I do? I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know What can I do? What can I do? I DON'T KNOW! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!"
One of the hardest parts is that my mom is a genuinely good person. Raising me mostly by herself I know was not easy. My mom has had/has a lot of hardship. She also has the best intentions and wants to do what's best for me and for others. I am so grateful for all that she has done and will continue to do for me. And that's what makes it difficult. My mom is not a straight up asshole or horrible person. But I don't know how to help her. I just don't know!
In a way it's kind of like we're living parallel lives. We both want the same thing but don't know how to get through to one another.
Today was hard. I can only hope that it'll get easier. I love you mama. I am so sorry I don't know how to make things better.
-my car
-finding the post it note in my wallet from my therapist. I really fucking needed it tonight.
-laughter
-swearing
-my bed
-the basics
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 5-11-13

Today I am grateful for:
-This video:

-the stage reading going well.
-Meg getting married. I wasn't there, but I hope she's happy.
-getting my paychecks.
-padre willing to give me a ride tomorrow morning
-the basics
-this day being over
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 5-10-13

Today I am grateful for:
-The voice over at Rumble for Target. It was super fun.
-the fun guys working on the vo at Rumble.
-being present. I was present today with how happy it made me feel to be in that vo booth this morning. I just felt light and in awe that I was there and over it just made me smile.
-Finding this on my desk at work:

I guess I talk about how much I love peas. A lot.
Hey, if it gets me cool stuff like this then I'll be doing it more often.
I love peas! 

-being a bit daring today. I jumped a train. It wasn't moving so it's not that daring, but it could have started up again at any second. It's my version of living on the edge! It made me feel exhilarated. 

-laughter 

-hot showers 

-good people 

-the basics

-as always, my friends 

Gratitude on the go! 5-9-13

Today I am grateful for:
-Glam Doll Doughnut being open at 7am
-babysitting for Jen. Oscar and I had a blast.

Look at that face! He's pretty great. 

Frank had a good time too. 

-catching up with Jen for a little bit.
-having the time to make some lunch at home

-things still blooming

-teaching with Shanan. The kids were pretty good today so that was exciting. 

-THIS:

Won't it be exciting when this is no longer a big deal?
Because really, it shouldn't be a big deal. 

-a really fun show. The news tonight was particularly fun.

-laughter

-acknowledgement that I did a good job hosting the surprise wedding proposal. She said yes! 

-being silly 

-having the apartment to myself

-the basics
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 5-8-13

Today I am grateful for:
-being able to sleep in
-my new book.
-hanging out with Brittany. We were gonna walk around the lake, but it started to rain. So instead we got fro-yo, then got dinner (in that order), and went back to my place and watched The Mindy Project and the Voice. It was great
-having meaningful conversations
-NUTS
-laughter
-the basics
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 5-7-13

Today I am grateful for:
-running into fun people. Saw Melanie and Megan today. Henry too. All adorable.
-laughter
-my therapist. She always puts things into perspective.
-the workshop I'm doing with fun people
-CAP. We finished today. It was so much fun. Rykiah rocked it out as usual. I always have such a blast doing that show.
-meeting new, fun people through CAP.
-Brittany and Ruth coming to see CAP.
-Brittany and I hanging out and watching The Voice.
-the melatonin kicking in right now
-the basics
- more things blooming
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 5-6-13

Today I am grateful for:
-waking up before my alarm
-NUTS
-being able to do a fun workshop with good people.
-laughter
-CAP. All the shows were great! It's so much fun to be a part of the whole experience.
-the seward co-op
-nerding out
-my mindless awesome book.
-the basics
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 5-5-13

Today I am grateful for:
-waking up naturally
-brunch with Padre
-another great car nap
-the youth team's final performance. They rocked it out.
-CAP dress rehearsal. It's the best. Everybody's plays are so great!
-hanging out with Brittany and Amanda. Tacos, Iron Man 3, singing and laughing...Not much can be better than that!
-laughter
-the basics
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 5-4-13

Today I am grateful for:
-reading myself to sleep last night
-a busy day at the museum
-roomie being at Melanie's house warming party
-an epic car nap. wow. it was soo incredible. It was almost a full hour of pure blissful dreamless sleep. the car was the perfect temperature and my hat blocked out the light. i've never experienced a better nap.
-crafting. Here was today's project:

So...I may have messed up a little...
but I actually kind of like it better this way. 

-a super fun audience. 

-laughter

-the cast being really light hearted during the show. lots of giggles. 

-guests coming to play improv 

-having the apartment to myself

-my spirits finally lifting a bit. 

-the basics

-as always, my friends 

Gratitude on the go! 5-3-13

Today I am grateful for:
-these quotes:
"Life is a constant challenge to know oneself."
"Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are hidden in the most unlikely places."
-the new book I'm reading.
-quiet time
-a text from Jen.
-CAP
-laughter
-soup
-Litza calling. It was great to hear what she was up to. She always makes me smile.
-the improv set tonight with the recurring theme of hot air balloons. The set definitely ended with a wedding taking place in mid hot air balloon flight with a hawk as a ring bearer. So much winning. It actually completely lifted my mood.
-nutella
-the basics
-hot showers
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 5-2-13

Today I am grateful for:
-Being able to sleep almost to my alarm
-minimal mid-night wake ups
-Eric coming in to sub for Shanan
-both classes being really great today
-CAP
-Being a part of the BNW
-remembering that depression is a lying asshole.
-communication
-distractions
-remembering it's going to be okay
-being present. I'm present to the fact that right now I really want to be down on myself and write the worst things about how I'm awful in every way. I'm present to the fact that I'm fighting against those feelings because I know they're not true. However knowing and feeling are two different things. I really struggle to stand up for myself and be my own advocate. I'm trying. I really am.
-the basics
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 5-1-13

Today I am grateful for:
-the magical powers that reading does to ones mind.
-seeing a movie with amanda. This week was Oblivion. It was pretty good actually. The pacing needed work for sure.
-coffee shops.
-running into Troy at a coffee shop. He let me share a booth with him since there were no other seats. It was very nice of him.
-finding out there are free online college classes you can take.
-seeing Brittany's show.
-hanging out with Amanda, Brittany, and Ruth. They're so great.
-laughter
-distractions
-things blooming despite the snow.
-the basics
-as always, my friends.