Today I am grateful for:
-Having big audiences for my SMM shows.
-This lovely couple who were so proud of their three engineering sons. They just could not stop boasting about them. It was pretty adorable.
-Padre coming to the museum to have lunch with me.
-Taking not one, but TWO quickie naps. I mean I think they totaled about 45 of sleep combined, but I'm glad I was able to do it.
-Laughter
-Being present. I'm present to the fact that I'm a bit (a lot) nervous of padre going away on his big trip. I have no reason to be. He's a big boy and he said he's going to be fine. (Although I can sense his hesitation about this trip, too.) I can't help but worry though. He's going away to the middle of NOWHERE for 3 weeks. I think he's aware of my trepidation and has definitely reassured me a few times that everything is going to be okay. I thought I was playing it pretty cool. I guess not? The jury is still not out on that. Regardless, as a result I am finding myself getting easily agitated with people and things. It's entirely possible my agitation could be non-related, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it is. One thing that bothered me tonight was reading about other people's adventures in online dating. I can't do that to myself anymore. Reading how some people get over like 300 messages in a week makes me want to preform open heart surgery on myself. They 100% deserve that attention and admiration from potential suitors. That is not what makes me upset. What makes me upset is that it just confirms the fact that my online dating life continues to be nothing like anyone else I know. I think I long to have someone say, "That's been my experience, too. You're not alone." Ugh. This whole last paragraph makes me feel like a completely selfish asshole. I got it off my chest and now it's time to let it go.
-Late night car rides with padre.
-Getting a card from Litza today. She donated money to Heifer International on my behave in lieu of Christmas presents this year. I love this idea. Because of her donation I am sponsoring a girl's education and giving a flock of chicks to a family. Litza's generosity ceases to amaze me. I'm so glad her card came in the mail today. It was just what I needed at the end of this long day.
-Hot showers
-comfy sheets
-melatonin
-peaceful (albeit sparing) moments of solitude and quiet.
-The basics
-Breathing
-As always, my friends.
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