Today I am grateful for:
-The workshop having snow cones. It was Pride outside so they were capitalizing on that market. That snow cone was sooo good.
-a relatively painless tech.
-finding my keys
-Lauren telling me that she and Andy were talking about how they thought I had a really nice voice. We were practicing music with Pete and I get super self conscious about singing when I don't know the words or melody yet. I hate singing off key. So to hear that they thought I had a, "beautiful voice" made me feel good. I really appreciate Lauren telling me that.
-Mesa Pizza
-This random woman sharing some kick ass hot sauce with me at Mesa's.
-the man at Jackson's giving me some gelato from the back because I asked him what his favorite flavor was. He had just made nutella but it wasn't quite tempered yet. But he gave it to me anyway. It was soooo incredible.
-being a Minnesotan. So much wonderfulness happened this weekend that I'm beaming with joy about my state. TCIF, Pride, The Food Truck Convention! So much goodness so little time.
-The basics
-laughter
-as always, my friends.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-29-13
Today I am grateful for:
-This quote:
"The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment."
-having brunch with Kevin. It was a bit different than our usual hang outs. We messed around and talked to imaginary people like we usually do, but we got to a real level too. I like it when that happens. I like being able to do both. We talked about middle school and high school. He talked about his time with Jenny and I with Raj. I told him that Raj was the first person to ever like me in more than a platonic matter and I didn't know how to handle it at first. He responded by saying he was the first person to ever declare those feelings to me. I can't help but wonder what he meant by that. I mean, I know what he said, but is there more behind it? Am I reading too much into it? Most probably.
-being present. I'm present to the fact that I don't see myself as someone who could be in a relationship. I just think that no one considers me in a romantic way. I'm trying to get out of that mindset, but its hard. I don't want to think that. I wish I had the confidence to just be like, "fuck yeah I'm a catch! Some day some guy is going to be so lucky to have me." I hope to one day get there. I really do. Even just thinking about it makes my throat tighten with anxiety and sadness. Baby steps
-OMG. We had a show for TCIF tonight and it was rockin. We had four ladies from out of town and three from here. They killed it. It was so much fun to watch. After it was over one of the women from out of town said that she now feels better about her diary. She thought she was the only one who had those weird feelings. That's why I love that show. It allows us all to see that we're alike and can connect on a weird visceral level.
-Pride weekend. This year is probably out of control. I cannot even imagine.
-Closing night of Lance. It was a really fun show. Four months and I never got sick of it. I think that's a sign of a solid show. Also a great cast. And crew. And FOH. All the things. Man we had fun. :)
-Katy telling me about a workshop that she took at TCIF. She was so over the moon in love with it that it made me so excited and happy for her. I love it when teachers/classes have such a profound impact on you. It is one of my favorite things. I'm so glad she was able to take that class.
-laughter
-the basics
-my back door being unlocked. Normally I would be really upset about this, but I "lost" my keys some point last night and I would have been locked out of my house if the back door was locked. Thank you, Josh!
-as always, my friends.
-This quote:
"The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment."
-having brunch with Kevin. It was a bit different than our usual hang outs. We messed around and talked to imaginary people like we usually do, but we got to a real level too. I like it when that happens. I like being able to do both. We talked about middle school and high school. He talked about his time with Jenny and I with Raj. I told him that Raj was the first person to ever like me in more than a platonic matter and I didn't know how to handle it at first. He responded by saying he was the first person to ever declare those feelings to me. I can't help but wonder what he meant by that. I mean, I know what he said, but is there more behind it? Am I reading too much into it? Most probably.
-being present. I'm present to the fact that I don't see myself as someone who could be in a relationship. I just think that no one considers me in a romantic way. I'm trying to get out of that mindset, but its hard. I don't want to think that. I wish I had the confidence to just be like, "fuck yeah I'm a catch! Some day some guy is going to be so lucky to have me." I hope to one day get there. I really do. Even just thinking about it makes my throat tighten with anxiety and sadness. Baby steps
-OMG. We had a show for TCIF tonight and it was rockin. We had four ladies from out of town and three from here. They killed it. It was so much fun to watch. After it was over one of the women from out of town said that she now feels better about her diary. She thought she was the only one who had those weird feelings. That's why I love that show. It allows us all to see that we're alike and can connect on a weird visceral level.
-Pride weekend. This year is probably out of control. I cannot even imagine.
-Closing night of Lance. It was a really fun show. Four months and I never got sick of it. I think that's a sign of a solid show. Also a great cast. And crew. And FOH. All the things. Man we had fun. :)
-Katy telling me about a workshop that she took at TCIF. She was so over the moon in love with it that it made me so excited and happy for her. I love it when teachers/classes have such a profound impact on you. It is one of my favorite things. I'm so glad she was able to take that class.
-laughter
-the basics
-my back door being unlocked. Normally I would be really upset about this, but I "lost" my keys some point last night and I would have been locked out of my house if the back door was locked. Thank you, Josh!
-as always, my friends.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-28-13
Today I am grateful for:
-Catching the bus on time
-remembering I packed a granola bar the night before for breakfast.
-podcasts. Specifically radio lab
-Augsburg Fortress
-meeting up with Jen and Oscar for a donut. Oscar is getting so big!
-metro transit. Taking me exactly where I need to be.
-a very productive rehearsal. I didn't even realize rehearsal was over until Caleb said so.
-Taste of Thailand. I don't usually go there because the service can be sooo slow, but when they're not busy and you have the time to go, it's always worth it.
-laughter. I laughed tonight like I haven't laughed in years. I'm not exaggerating when I say that. The last time I laughed that hard was for sure in college. I mean I was aching with laughter. I was hollering. I couldn't breathe. My face hurt. My stomach was sore. I couldn't sit still because I felt out of control of my body. I was rocking back and forward holding my stomach. At one point I actually fell to the floor. It was incredible. I haven't felt that good in...well years I suppose. I was hard core in love with that moment. I wish I could laugh like that every day. I would love to make that a goal. Laugh until it hurts at least once a day. That would be wonderful. Man that was fun. And the thing that triggered that laughter wasn't even that funny. It was kind of just the right place at the right time. It was outstanding.
-A really silly show with a great supportive audience.
-A wonderful volunteer. She was so hesitant to come up on stage but she told a wonderful true story that really rocked the house.
-improv. In every way. Our set at the workshop was super patient and full of call backs.
-TCIF. Bringing people together to laugh for 7 years now.
-smiling
-connecting
-getting a ride home from HUGE from Mary.
-the basics
-as always, my friends.
-Catching the bus on time
-remembering I packed a granola bar the night before for breakfast.
-podcasts. Specifically radio lab
-Augsburg Fortress
-meeting up with Jen and Oscar for a donut. Oscar is getting so big!
-metro transit. Taking me exactly where I need to be.
-a very productive rehearsal. I didn't even realize rehearsal was over until Caleb said so.
-Taste of Thailand. I don't usually go there because the service can be sooo slow, but when they're not busy and you have the time to go, it's always worth it.
-laughter. I laughed tonight like I haven't laughed in years. I'm not exaggerating when I say that. The last time I laughed that hard was for sure in college. I mean I was aching with laughter. I was hollering. I couldn't breathe. My face hurt. My stomach was sore. I couldn't sit still because I felt out of control of my body. I was rocking back and forward holding my stomach. At one point I actually fell to the floor. It was incredible. I haven't felt that good in...well years I suppose. I was hard core in love with that moment. I wish I could laugh like that every day. I would love to make that a goal. Laugh until it hurts at least once a day. That would be wonderful. Man that was fun. And the thing that triggered that laughter wasn't even that funny. It was kind of just the right place at the right time. It was outstanding.
-A really silly show with a great supportive audience.
-A wonderful volunteer. She was so hesitant to come up on stage but she told a wonderful true story that really rocked the house.
-improv. In every way. Our set at the workshop was super patient and full of call backs.
-TCIF. Bringing people together to laugh for 7 years now.
-smiling
-connecting
-getting a ride home from HUGE from Mary.
-the basics
-as always, my friends.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-27-13
Today I am grateful for:
-This article. I've been thinking about this topic a lot recently and this definitely opened my eyes and got me thinking about how (unfortunately) limited my views of love have been in the past.
-The great people who work at Caribou. I've been going to this one store in particular because I've been working in the same building. They remembered my name...Well...my fake name. I feel bad now and I'm probably going to tell them the truth. I just never thought they would care enough to remember me.
-podcasts
-the amazing weather.
-rehearsal. There's one scene in particular that I'm having a blast with. It's hilarious and I'm having a ton of fun with it. Maybe a little too much fun? Doubtful. :)
-Lauren giving me a ride
-having an extremely fun set with The Minneapples. We set a group goal before we started that we would all be on each others side no matter what. I think that really helped us. Considering that we haven't done a show together in ages it was a definite success.
-so much laughter
-This article. I've been thinking about this topic a lot recently and this definitely opened my eyes and got me thinking about how (unfortunately) limited my views of love have been in the past.
-The great people who work at Caribou. I've been going to this one store in particular because I've been working in the same building. They remembered my name...Well...my fake name. I feel bad now and I'm probably going to tell them the truth. I just never thought they would care enough to remember me.
-podcasts
-the amazing weather.
-rehearsal. There's one scene in particular that I'm having a blast with. It's hilarious and I'm having a ton of fun with it. Maybe a little too much fun? Doubtful. :)
-Lauren giving me a ride
-having an extremely fun set with The Minneapples. We set a group goal before we started that we would all be on each others side no matter what. I think that really helped us. Considering that we haven't done a show together in ages it was a definite success.
 |
| Yup. This pretty much sums us up. |
-love
-connections. No matter how small
-the basics
-as always, my friends.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-26-13
Today I am grateful for:
-My AC unit
-podcasts
-getting done early at Augsburg
-being able to test drive my potentially new car. It was pretty great.
-padre treating me to lunch
-the tea garden
-class. They're so much fun and they work so hard. I love how much they support each other and how open they are.
-Jen giving me a ride home.
-The basics
-laughter
-as always, my friends
-My AC unit
-podcasts
-getting done early at Augsburg
-being able to test drive my potentially new car. It was pretty great.
-padre treating me to lunch
-the tea garden
-class. They're so much fun and they work so hard. I love how much they support each other and how open they are.
-Jen giving me a ride home.
-The basics
-laughter
-as always, my friends
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-25-13
Today I am grateful for:
-public transport. I kind of love finding new buses and seeing where they'll take me.
-my therapist. This week was a great session. I'm pretty sure what was off about last session was that she was sick. This week felt very productive. I got homework, which I love, and...idk...I felt heard and validated.
-music
-podcasts
-rehearsal. Got a lot done today.
-Lauren giving me a ride to uptown.
-taking a leisurely walk.
-Daring Greatly. I took a Zumba class tonight with Kat. I'm really grateful she asked me to go with her. I was scared for sure, but I did it. I couldn't get half the moves and it was hotter than balls in hades but it was also a complete blast. I really loved it. The teacher was great and the music was fun and eclectic and it was super affordable and close to my house. I'm definitely excited to go to another class in a couple weeks!
-the power coming back on. I don't know if I've expressed how much I love electricity, but I do. I really do. I would have sucked in the pioneer days.
-SYTYCD. It gave me even more appreciation of how amazing these dancers are after this class tonight. It also help me realize that I'll never, ever be a dancer. And...that's so okay.
-feeling clean.
-the basics
-love
-laughter
-as always, my friends
-public transport. I kind of love finding new buses and seeing where they'll take me.
-my therapist. This week was a great session. I'm pretty sure what was off about last session was that she was sick. This week felt very productive. I got homework, which I love, and...idk...I felt heard and validated.
-music
-podcasts
-rehearsal. Got a lot done today.
-Lauren giving me a ride to uptown.
-taking a leisurely walk.
-Daring Greatly. I took a Zumba class tonight with Kat. I'm really grateful she asked me to go with her. I was scared for sure, but I did it. I couldn't get half the moves and it was hotter than balls in hades but it was also a complete blast. I really loved it. The teacher was great and the music was fun and eclectic and it was super affordable and close to my house. I'm definitely excited to go to another class in a couple weeks!
-the power coming back on. I don't know if I've expressed how much I love electricity, but I do. I really do. I would have sucked in the pioneer days.
-SYTYCD. It gave me even more appreciation of how amazing these dancers are after this class tonight. It also help me realize that I'll never, ever be a dancer. And...that's so okay.
-feeling clean.
-the basics
-love
-laughter
-as always, my friends
Gratitude on the go! 6-24-13
Today I am grateful for:
-public transportation
-podcasts
-my vo not going as long as I thought. I was able to have a proper lunch break.
-Litza texting me to let me know she got her bday present in the mail. I was getting worried it never arrived.
-rehearsal
-a ride home from rehearsal
-group. I am so grateful for those ladies.
-being present. I'm present to the fact I am feeling ashamed of something tonight. Group just finished and I was outside in the parking lot with some of the ladies. I was meeting a friend, who happens to live right next door to where the group meets. I told the ladies that my friend was coming down and she didn't know about this part of my life. When my friend came down I darted out of the parking lot as quickly as I could. They seemed fine with it but I just felt so much shame. I shouldn't have done that. I should have just owned up and said what was going on. Not everything, but yes I was meeting those ladies in a therapy group. I hate that fear kicked in. I hate it. Sigh. Now I'm present that I'm being mean to myself. It's okay. You weren't ready to tell your friend who can be a big gossip about your personal business. Haha now I'm present that I'm talking to myself in the second person. Is it the second person? Now I'm present that I'm going to have to look that up.
-Anna, Steph, and I going to see not one, but Two movies tonight. Monster's University, which was soooo good! I love you Pixar!! And then World War Z. Yes I saw it again. That's totally fine. It was free (because we snuck in. Shh!) so I'm okay with it. It was also nice to just see them. It's been awhile.
-the medicine for my hand. It seems to be healing rather quickly. :)
-getting a text from Zarah checking in with me. I really appreciate that.
-people checkin in with me in general.
-The basics
-laughter
-as always, my friends.
-public transportation
-podcasts
-my vo not going as long as I thought. I was able to have a proper lunch break.
-Litza texting me to let me know she got her bday present in the mail. I was getting worried it never arrived.
-rehearsal
-a ride home from rehearsal
-group. I am so grateful for those ladies.
-being present. I'm present to the fact I am feeling ashamed of something tonight. Group just finished and I was outside in the parking lot with some of the ladies. I was meeting a friend, who happens to live right next door to where the group meets. I told the ladies that my friend was coming down and she didn't know about this part of my life. When my friend came down I darted out of the parking lot as quickly as I could. They seemed fine with it but I just felt so much shame. I shouldn't have done that. I should have just owned up and said what was going on. Not everything, but yes I was meeting those ladies in a therapy group. I hate that fear kicked in. I hate it. Sigh. Now I'm present that I'm being mean to myself. It's okay. You weren't ready to tell your friend who can be a big gossip about your personal business. Haha now I'm present that I'm talking to myself in the second person. Is it the second person? Now I'm present that I'm going to have to look that up.
-Anna, Steph, and I going to see not one, but Two movies tonight. Monster's University, which was soooo good! I love you Pixar!! And then World War Z. Yes I saw it again. That's totally fine. It was free (because we snuck in. Shh!) so I'm okay with it. It was also nice to just see them. It's been awhile.
-the medicine for my hand. It seems to be healing rather quickly. :)
-getting a text from Zarah checking in with me. I really appreciate that.
-people checkin in with me in general.
-The basics
-laughter
-as always, my friends.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-23-13
Today I am grateful for:
-Amanda helping me get a spare key to my dad's car when the key I had got stuck in the door. I almost had another minor melt down so I'm really glad Amanda was there to level my head.
-finding a bunch of potential spare keys at my dad's house
-laughing through all the bullshit
-Amanda helping me get a spare key to my dad's car when the key I had got stuck in the door. I almost had another minor melt down so I'm really glad Amanda was there to level my head.
-finding a bunch of potential spare keys at my dad's house
 |
| See what I mean? |
-taking around a two hour nap. For real. I've been exhausted. I do not sleep well at other people's places or in bed with other people. I'm always worried I'm going to wake them up so I'm yet again in another half sleep situation. So this nap was epic and awesome. Full of really random, vivid, dreams.
-talking to my neighbor who's tree broke in the storm. She was very sweet and she told me that she saw the energy guys come by earlier so we might be getting power back on soon.
-The Southdale Experience with Andy and Taj. Hannah won our HUGE Hangout auction and so Andy and I took her to dinner and a movie. Although it was actually movie and then dinner and she had to drive because of our lack of cars at the moment. We saw World War Z, which was no where near as bad as people told me it would be. I actually enjoyed it. Then we went to The Good Earth and had some really wonderful food and just caught up on things. It's been awhile.
-Hannah and Josh letting me come over to their place for a little while so I didn't have to hang out in my dark hot house all by myself. We watched an episode of Hell's Kitchen. Then Josh texted and told me the power was back on so they drove me home.
-the power being back on! I'm so grateful for the power being back I can't even put words to it.
-a hot shower. I was feeling so gross
-the generosity of people helping those in need over the last few days. It fills my heart up with so much joy that people were going out of their way to make sure people had what they needed.
-the basics
-sleeping in my own bed tonight
-the beautiful super moon outside
-the beautiful super moon outside
-as always, my friends
Gratitude on the go! 6-22-13
Today I am grateful for:
-not having anywhere to be until the evening.
-this tree falling into the street and not on anyone's house:
-my bike. I biked to uptown to go try to find some power. It was still pretty much dark everywhere in my neighborhood. A lot of people had the same idea.
-Someone telling me there was an open outlet behind a photo booth in Calhoun Square. I took advantage of that to juice up.
-Wallgreens being open. I bought some extra power strips and brought it to the coffee shop that had power as well as Calhoun Square. No one should be denied access to charge up where there's power.
-The really nice service people at Brugger's Bagels. They brought a smile to my face on a rather gloomy day.
-padre letting me borrow his car.
-taking a little nap. Although the porch was nice, I really didn't sleep for that long out there. It was more of a half sleep.
-Amanda letting come over for the afternoon to relax and charge my phone. Still with no power at my place. I told her about my car and how I was sad. Again, I felt heard and that she understood how I felt. We watched an episode of medium and an Awful movie called Highway. Woof. However, she also said I could come over later in the night to stay at her place if my power didn't go back on. Spoiler alert, it doesn't.
-Zarah checking in on me to see how everything was going.
-A fun show and a incredible set. It was secrets of the city and so we had a special set in the ETC. It was packed. Standing room only. Not only that, it was free so a lot of people who had never even heard of the workshop came to the set. And it was a kick ass set. Super fun short form. Really great montage. Lots of different characters and some sweet call backs.
-Amanda not getting hurt when a semi truck tried to run her off the road.
-Amanda letting me come over and spend the night. Although, haha, about a half hour after I got there the power went out. I must be jinxing the city. We just went outside and laughed because at that point what else can you do?
-Ruth offering to both Amanda and I stay at the place that she's housesitting. It was glorious. AC, air mattress and a ton of laughter. Again, because what else could you do.
-laughter. It really is a stress releaser.
-Swearing. Swearing is a stress releaser too. :)
-the basics
-as always, my friends. And lets be honest, I have some pretty incredible friends if tonight is any indication.
-not having anywhere to be until the evening.
-this tree falling into the street and not on anyone's house:
 |
| Our neighbor's tree. The storm did it last night. So grateful it feel out into the street and no one was hurt. |
-Someone telling me there was an open outlet behind a photo booth in Calhoun Square. I took advantage of that to juice up.
-Wallgreens being open. I bought some extra power strips and brought it to the coffee shop that had power as well as Calhoun Square. No one should be denied access to charge up where there's power.
-The really nice service people at Brugger's Bagels. They brought a smile to my face on a rather gloomy day.
-padre letting me borrow his car.
-taking a little nap. Although the porch was nice, I really didn't sleep for that long out there. It was more of a half sleep.
-Amanda letting come over for the afternoon to relax and charge my phone. Still with no power at my place. I told her about my car and how I was sad. Again, I felt heard and that she understood how I felt. We watched an episode of medium and an Awful movie called Highway. Woof. However, she also said I could come over later in the night to stay at her place if my power didn't go back on. Spoiler alert, it doesn't.
-Zarah checking in on me to see how everything was going.
-A fun show and a incredible set. It was secrets of the city and so we had a special set in the ETC. It was packed. Standing room only. Not only that, it was free so a lot of people who had never even heard of the workshop came to the set. And it was a kick ass set. Super fun short form. Really great montage. Lots of different characters and some sweet call backs.
-Amanda not getting hurt when a semi truck tried to run her off the road.
-Amanda letting me come over and spend the night. Although, haha, about a half hour after I got there the power went out. I must be jinxing the city. We just went outside and laughed because at that point what else can you do?
-Ruth offering to both Amanda and I stay at the place that she's housesitting. It was glorious. AC, air mattress and a ton of laughter. Again, because what else could you do.
-laughter. It really is a stress releaser.
-Swearing. Swearing is a stress releaser too. :)
-the basics
-as always, my friends. And lets be honest, I have some pretty incredible friends if tonight is any indication.
Gratitude on the go! 6-21-13
Today I am grateful for:
-the beautiful view of the lake
-the crisp air
-OneRepublic
-public transportation
-being quiet
-distraction. Rehearsal was a really good distraction
-remembering to breathe and walking. I got mad today as I found out that my car got totaled. I loved that car a lot. A whole lot. When it finally sunk in I was livid. I don't know how to deal with anger very well at all. So I just paced. I paced back and forth back and forth until I finally calmed down.
-Being heard. I shared my news with Lauren and she listened and understood how I was feeling. That was nice
-A really fun show and set.
-My dad picking me up and driving me home. While I was downtown there was a devastating storm. It caused pretty much all of mpls to go dark. Huge trees snapped in two or uprooted. It was awful. I was scared. So I'm glad my dad stayed with me for awhile.
-my porch. It was so hot in my apartment with no power that I decided to sleep on the couch out on the porch. For some reason I also felt safe there.
-candles, the flashlight on my phone and my radio flashlight. Classic radio flashlight. :)
-No one was hurt during the storm.
-The basics
-As always, my friends
-the beautiful view of the lake
-the crisp air
-OneRepublic
-public transportation
-being quiet
-distraction. Rehearsal was a really good distraction
-remembering to breathe and walking. I got mad today as I found out that my car got totaled. I loved that car a lot. A whole lot. When it finally sunk in I was livid. I don't know how to deal with anger very well at all. So I just paced. I paced back and forth back and forth until I finally calmed down.
-Being heard. I shared my news with Lauren and she listened and understood how I was feeling. That was nice
-A really fun show and set.
-My dad picking me up and driving me home. While I was downtown there was a devastating storm. It caused pretty much all of mpls to go dark. Huge trees snapped in two or uprooted. It was awful. I was scared. So I'm glad my dad stayed with me for awhile.
-my porch. It was so hot in my apartment with no power that I decided to sleep on the couch out on the porch. For some reason I also felt safe there.
-candles, the flashlight on my phone and my radio flashlight. Classic radio flashlight. :)
-No one was hurt during the storm.
-The basics
-As always, my friends
Friday, June 21, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-20-13
Today I am grateful for:
-These quotes:
"Realise that what you are, cannot be born nor die, and with the fear gone all suffering ends."
-These quotes:
"Realise that what you are, cannot be born nor die, and with the fear gone all suffering ends."
"The truth is rarely pure and never simple."
"Listen. It's in this moment you'll hear what you need to know."
"Listen. It's in this moment you'll hear what you need to know."
"The truth is rarely pure and never simple."
-This amazing site! Particularly this. I complete agree with this view point on improvisation. It is a way of life. It's wonderful. I'm gonna recommend this site to my class.
-working with some great kids for a corporate gig. They were so engaged. It was fun to see how much support they gave one another.
-Nora reaching out and talking to me when she's in struggle. I feel very honored that she feels comfortable enough to do that. I admire her bravery.
-a beautiful email from Amy. I miss her. She nailed it in her email when she said this: "I miss you. I miss the proximity of you, you know? And I miss walking into our room and just peeling off the layers of defense after being in "The World." I would come home and peel off the layers and be me, and be safe. That is something I cherish about our time living together, especially the last year. I'm happy we had that time."
-making lunch/dinner at home
-a really fun audience for tonight's show.
-a wonderful set. I felt really solid in what I was doing. I played vast characters from each other and felt confident in my choices. I'm learning to play to my strengths. I'm always going to try to push myself to continue and grow. In improv and life. Good thing they reflect one another.
-Amanda coming to see the show. She brought some friends too. They were very sweet and expressed how much they liked the show.
-that I wasn't in my car when some one hit it and ran off. The police don't know who it was and they didn't get a license plate so it's unlikely that we'll ever know who did it. Like I said, I'm grateful that one one was hurt. I'm grateful I have insurance. I'm grateful for the cop who waited with my car until I showed up and then continued to stay until my dad and the tow truck came. I'm grateful that I have AAA. I'm really grateful my dad was able to come and pick me up and take me home. There's a lot to be grateful for. I can't say I'm not upset. Because I am. I am upset. I'm pissed off someone hit my car and then took off. I'm upset at myself for being upset. I was really cool, calm, and collected until about 10 minutes ago where I just started crying. I felt overwhelmed. All sorts of emotions were flooding my way. I felt pissed, sad, confused, flustered, scared, relieved, etc. It was all triggered by an email my dad sent me. He's scared which is totally understandable. I appreciate that he told me how he was feeling. I'm trying to sit with him in that. He's allowed to feel that way. At first I was frustrated. I thought, "Can you please just for once be the grown up?" But he was. He is. I'm uncomfortable because he was. He was being vulnerable with me. It took me a second, but now I'm realizing that's what it was. I sent him an email back thanking him for his help and reassuring him that I'm okay. Because I am. I am okay. Everyone is okay. And in the end, that's what matters.
-Emily chatting me online tonight. It was kind of perfect timing. It was right when I was feeling overwhelmed. It was so great to feel heard and to be able to just talk about what I was feeling. I felt supported and that is a fantastic feeling.
-I'm grateful that it didn't start raining during the day. It was suppose to rain all day and never did.
-that the storm is happening now late at night. The sound of a thunderstorm helps me sleep.
-this blog. It's my 1 year anniversary with this blog. Happy one year! I think the gift for one year is paper? Haha how ironic. I really do love this blog. I love the freedom it has given me. I love how it helps me to process my day. Like today is a perfect example. I was upset right before I started writing. About the car wreck. But while I was writing I calmed down and was able to dissect what was actually going on in my head. I love how it keeps me present to all the amazing things around me and finding the silver lining in the hard things. Because yes some days are harder than others. I'm so grateful to be able to go back and reflect on the things that have happened over this past year. I debated whether or not to keep this blog going after one year. I'm gonna say yes.
-The basics
-hot showers
-egg drop soup
-as always, my friends
-working with some great kids for a corporate gig. They were so engaged. It was fun to see how much support they gave one another.
-Nora reaching out and talking to me when she's in struggle. I feel very honored that she feels comfortable enough to do that. I admire her bravery.
-a beautiful email from Amy. I miss her. She nailed it in her email when she said this: "I miss you. I miss the proximity of you, you know? And I miss walking into our room and just peeling off the layers of defense after being in "The World." I would come home and peel off the layers and be me, and be safe. That is something I cherish about our time living together, especially the last year. I'm happy we had that time."
-making lunch/dinner at home
-a really fun audience for tonight's show.
-a wonderful set. I felt really solid in what I was doing. I played vast characters from each other and felt confident in my choices. I'm learning to play to my strengths. I'm always going to try to push myself to continue and grow. In improv and life. Good thing they reflect one another.
-Amanda coming to see the show. She brought some friends too. They were very sweet and expressed how much they liked the show.
-that I wasn't in my car when some one hit it and ran off. The police don't know who it was and they didn't get a license plate so it's unlikely that we'll ever know who did it. Like I said, I'm grateful that one one was hurt. I'm grateful I have insurance. I'm grateful for the cop who waited with my car until I showed up and then continued to stay until my dad and the tow truck came. I'm grateful that I have AAA. I'm really grateful my dad was able to come and pick me up and take me home. There's a lot to be grateful for. I can't say I'm not upset. Because I am. I am upset. I'm pissed off someone hit my car and then took off. I'm upset at myself for being upset. I was really cool, calm, and collected until about 10 minutes ago where I just started crying. I felt overwhelmed. All sorts of emotions were flooding my way. I felt pissed, sad, confused, flustered, scared, relieved, etc. It was all triggered by an email my dad sent me. He's scared which is totally understandable. I appreciate that he told me how he was feeling. I'm trying to sit with him in that. He's allowed to feel that way. At first I was frustrated. I thought, "Can you please just for once be the grown up?" But he was. He is. I'm uncomfortable because he was. He was being vulnerable with me. It took me a second, but now I'm realizing that's what it was. I sent him an email back thanking him for his help and reassuring him that I'm okay. Because I am. I am okay. Everyone is okay. And in the end, that's what matters.
-Emily chatting me online tonight. It was kind of perfect timing. It was right when I was feeling overwhelmed. It was so great to feel heard and to be able to just talk about what I was feeling. I felt supported and that is a fantastic feeling.
-I'm grateful that it didn't start raining during the day. It was suppose to rain all day and never did.
-that the storm is happening now late at night. The sound of a thunderstorm helps me sleep.
-this blog. It's my 1 year anniversary with this blog. Happy one year! I think the gift for one year is paper? Haha how ironic. I really do love this blog. I love the freedom it has given me. I love how it helps me to process my day. Like today is a perfect example. I was upset right before I started writing. About the car wreck. But while I was writing I calmed down and was able to dissect what was actually going on in my head. I love how it keeps me present to all the amazing things around me and finding the silver lining in the hard things. Because yes some days are harder than others. I'm so grateful to be able to go back and reflect on the things that have happened over this past year. I debated whether or not to keep this blog going after one year. I'm gonna say yes.
-The basics
-hot showers
-egg drop soup
-as always, my friends
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-19-13
Today I am grateful for:
-this quote:
"Observe the direct connection between practicing trust and the serendipitous events that follow."-public transportation.
-Augsburg Fortress. I got to record some video of me talking in gibberish today. Hilarious.
 |
| Just a little souvenir. :) |
-having a quiet afternoon to myself.
-talking to Nora on the phone for an hour. It was really great to catch up with her.
-class. although they struggled a bit today at the end, I actually think it was a great learning experience for them.
-late night drive with padre. It was good. Went on a different path and we were in the convertible and it was so warm out. Really lovely. And I actually found my voice and talked to him about therapy the other day and how I was struggling with just the session in general. How it felt off. And while I was talking I kind of came to the conclusion of why I was having a hard time. One option, that my therapist was wrong (or more likely I was wrong) and we just weren't connecting or there was lack of communication and maybe I should talk about that. The second option, the one that scares me more, is that my therapist was right and I just wasn't ready to deal with what she was saying. Either way, next session is going to be hard I think.
-melatonin.
-the basics
-as always, my friends
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-18-13
Today I am grateful for:
-my therapist. Although today's session felt weird. I don't really know what was going on but the energy felt weird when I walked into the room. She also informed me about something that happened in my past that I never thought of before. Now it's the only thing I'm thinking of when I'm by myself. So you can be damn sure I've been keeping myself busy today.
-having the time to take a quick bike ride around the lake.
-spending the day at the beach with Lena. It was beautiful. And Lena was so adorable.
-Kat calling me to see if I wanted to take a Zoomba class with her. I'm trying to stretch myself so I said yes. Why not. It'll be good for me.
-stopping by Kat's place really quickly to pick up some books. I saw both Isabella and Michael. They seem to be doing really well.
-going to get tacos with Amanda. We both got their early because we're awesome like that.
-getting fro-yo. I mean because duh.
-seeing Man of Steel with Ruthie and Amanda. It was pretty good. I thought it was visually stunning.
-my stubs card. We were able to get two free popcorns, water, and a soda. That is what I'm talkin about. Hooray for rewards!
-This awesomeness:
-getting a really nice message on facebook from someone who I don't really know all that well.
-Ruth coming over to watch SYTYCD
-laughter
-my therapist. Although today's session felt weird. I don't really know what was going on but the energy felt weird when I walked into the room. She also informed me about something that happened in my past that I never thought of before. Now it's the only thing I'm thinking of when I'm by myself. So you can be damn sure I've been keeping myself busy today.
-having the time to take a quick bike ride around the lake.
-spending the day at the beach with Lena. It was beautiful. And Lena was so adorable.
-Kat calling me to see if I wanted to take a Zoomba class with her. I'm trying to stretch myself so I said yes. Why not. It'll be good for me.
-stopping by Kat's place really quickly to pick up some books. I saw both Isabella and Michael. They seem to be doing really well.
-going to get tacos with Amanda. We both got their early because we're awesome like that.
-getting fro-yo. I mean because duh.
-seeing Man of Steel with Ruthie and Amanda. It was pretty good. I thought it was visually stunning.
-my stubs card. We were able to get two free popcorns, water, and a soda. That is what I'm talkin about. Hooray for rewards!
-This awesomeness:
 |
| Somebody at the movie was smoking... So we got free passes WINNING! |
-Ruth coming over to watch SYTYCD
 |
| This might be one of my favorite pictures as of late Sonya Tayeh is not impressed #notimpressed |
-out of control laughter
-The basics
-as always, my friends.
-The basics
-as always, my friends.
Monday, June 17, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-17-13
Today I am grateful for:
-Ruthie texting me to hang out outside. I went for a run/walk around the lake and then Ruth met up with me. We went to the Peace Garden, visited Amanda, and just walked around for awhile. It was really lovely.
-the beautiful weather
-having a minute to just sit and take in the surroundings
-Andy and I going to see a movie. The Purge. It was alright. The message behind the movie was good. I was more excited about some of the previews for upcoming horror films.
-water
-group. Today was a really solid group. There was a lot of love and support today. I mean, there always is, but it felt very present today. I love that group of ladies and I'm glad they were all back this week.
-feeling like myself again. I'm not 100% sure what that means, but I think the metaphorical cloud has lifted. The weight has been picked up. I feel lighter. I feel like myself!
-going over to Amanda's and watching the X-Files. It was nice to catch up with Amanda and to watch some episodes. Man I loved that show.
-actually feeling tired.
-the basics
-as always, my friends
-Ruthie texting me to hang out outside. I went for a run/walk around the lake and then Ruth met up with me. We went to the Peace Garden, visited Amanda, and just walked around for awhile. It was really lovely.
-the beautiful weather
-having a minute to just sit and take in the surroundings
-Andy and I going to see a movie. The Purge. It was alright. The message behind the movie was good. I was more excited about some of the previews for upcoming horror films.
-water
-group. Today was a really solid group. There was a lot of love and support today. I mean, there always is, but it felt very present today. I love that group of ladies and I'm glad they were all back this week.
-feeling like myself again. I'm not 100% sure what that means, but I think the metaphorical cloud has lifted. The weight has been picked up. I feel lighter. I feel like myself!
-going over to Amanda's and watching the X-Files. It was nice to catch up with Amanda and to watch some episodes. Man I loved that show.
-actually feeling tired.
-the basics
-as always, my friends
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-16-13
Today I am grateful for:
-This quote:
"If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur."
-my bike. Freckles needs a few updates, but he's pretty great. He's no Tatters though. I miss Tatters.
-running into Ellie on my way to brunch. It was lovely to see her.
-brunch with Kat. It was lovely. Last time was so hard that it was such a wonderful change. Things seemed to be going well for her and the kids. I didn't ask about what happened last time and she didn't say anything. And you know what, that's okay. We're gonna try to brunch it once a month. I love that idea a lot. I hope we can do it! It's just once a month. That ain't no thang.
-the fantastic weather. I mean crazy awesome. The sun was shinning, the sky was soo blue, which made everything so green. Man. I feel so fantastic when the weather is nice.
-podcasts
-the afternoon all to myself. I sat outside in my back yard and read and basked in the sun. I watched Mars Attack. I mean, how fitting considering it's fathers day and it's one of my dad's favorite movies. I have to say, I haven't seen it in a really long time, and it's pretty good. I was too young to appreciate it before, but I understand why my dad likes it so much. It's so silly and stupid. And so star studded. Anyway, that was my awesome afternoon
-babysitting Oscar. He actually slept the whole time! He woke up once kind of, but after I rocked him for about 10 minutes he was out for the rest of the time I was there. It was pretty great.
-getting a text from Amy that she got my package. I'm so glad it got to her. I'm also so glad she liked it!
-Jen buying me dinner. And dessert! It was one of the most amazing tarts I've ever eaten. Sooo good
-padre.*
-the basics
-melatonin
-as always, my friends
*It's father's day after all. All over facebook people have been posting about their dads. Which is great, but what makes me a little annoyed is when people are like, "MY dad is the best dad in the world!" Or, "MY dad can beat up your dad!" Since when did it become a competition to have the best dad? It shouldn't be about best or worst. For those of us who have had great experiences with our fathers, we should be banning together and celebrating that. Not trying to one up one another. I'm sure father's day is hard for a lot of people for a lot of reasons. I want to honor that. I think this day should also be in celebration of the people who have had struggles with their fathers. Or for people who maybe one day want to be a father. Or who maybe didn't have a father who was present in their lives. Or who remember their fathers who are no longer around. Those people need to be celebrated on this day too.
In addition to all those people I would also like to take a moment and share that I am so grateful that I have been fortunate enough to have a present father. He's been a role model for me in so many ways. He's kind, compassionate, hilarious, odd, a goof ball, and knows what he wants and is not afraid of working to get it. He's taught me so many life lessons that I try to incorporate into my life on a daily basis, but the biggest one that he really ingrained in me was the Golden Rule. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I felt like he repeated that saying to me every day as a child. I'm glad he did. What a great rule to live by. Thanks, Padre. You're a really kick ass dude.
-This quote:
"If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur."
-my bike. Freckles needs a few updates, but he's pretty great. He's no Tatters though. I miss Tatters.
-running into Ellie on my way to brunch. It was lovely to see her.
-brunch with Kat. It was lovely. Last time was so hard that it was such a wonderful change. Things seemed to be going well for her and the kids. I didn't ask about what happened last time and she didn't say anything. And you know what, that's okay. We're gonna try to brunch it once a month. I love that idea a lot. I hope we can do it! It's just once a month. That ain't no thang.
-the fantastic weather. I mean crazy awesome. The sun was shinning, the sky was soo blue, which made everything so green. Man. I feel so fantastic when the weather is nice.
-podcasts
-the afternoon all to myself. I sat outside in my back yard and read and basked in the sun. I watched Mars Attack. I mean, how fitting considering it's fathers day and it's one of my dad's favorite movies. I have to say, I haven't seen it in a really long time, and it's pretty good. I was too young to appreciate it before, but I understand why my dad likes it so much. It's so silly and stupid. And so star studded. Anyway, that was my awesome afternoon
-babysitting Oscar. He actually slept the whole time! He woke up once kind of, but after I rocked him for about 10 minutes he was out for the rest of the time I was there. It was pretty great.
-getting a text from Amy that she got my package. I'm so glad it got to her. I'm also so glad she liked it!
-Jen buying me dinner. And dessert! It was one of the most amazing tarts I've ever eaten. Sooo good
-padre.*
-the basics
-melatonin
-as always, my friends
*It's father's day after all. All over facebook people have been posting about their dads. Which is great, but what makes me a little annoyed is when people are like, "MY dad is the best dad in the world!" Or, "MY dad can beat up your dad!" Since when did it become a competition to have the best dad? It shouldn't be about best or worst. For those of us who have had great experiences with our fathers, we should be banning together and celebrating that. Not trying to one up one another. I'm sure father's day is hard for a lot of people for a lot of reasons. I want to honor that. I think this day should also be in celebration of the people who have had struggles with their fathers. Or for people who maybe one day want to be a father. Or who maybe didn't have a father who was present in their lives. Or who remember their fathers who are no longer around. Those people need to be celebrated on this day too.
In addition to all those people I would also like to take a moment and share that I am so grateful that I have been fortunate enough to have a present father. He's been a role model for me in so many ways. He's kind, compassionate, hilarious, odd, a goof ball, and knows what he wants and is not afraid of working to get it. He's taught me so many life lessons that I try to incorporate into my life on a daily basis, but the biggest one that he really ingrained in me was the Golden Rule. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I felt like he repeated that saying to me every day as a child. I'm glad he did. What a great rule to live by. Thanks, Padre. You're a really kick ass dude.
 |
| Classic us. Happy Padre's Day, Padre! #win |
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-15-13
Today I am grateful for:
-A pretty solid night's sleep.
-the continuation of a driving job I've had since I was in college. It's so random and silly and weird and I love every second of it.
-reading. I just got a new book, but I gotta finish my old book first. It's a young readers book so I'll be done in a heartbeat. "Readings fun at all ages!" To quote Jen Scott. :)
-having lunch with Kdog. We went to Amanda's restaurant and had a pretty stellar late breakfast/brunch. Then we drove around the lakes for awhile while it rained and talked about healthcare and stories from our respected jobs. We laughed a lot as usual, but we also had a real conversation. That is a very rare occurrence and it was really great. He told me he loves me. I said it back. You know. Like ya do.
-A few hours in the afternoon to myself at home. That is so rare and incredibly wonderful. I watched some tv and made dinner. It's the little things.
-how vibrant everything looks after the rain goes away. So green and wonderful.
-the warm weather. Finally!
-Cool showers
-water
-the basics
-as always, my friends.
-A pretty solid night's sleep.
-the continuation of a driving job I've had since I was in college. It's so random and silly and weird and I love every second of it.
-reading. I just got a new book, but I gotta finish my old book first. It's a young readers book so I'll be done in a heartbeat. "Readings fun at all ages!" To quote Jen Scott. :)
-having lunch with Kdog. We went to Amanda's restaurant and had a pretty stellar late breakfast/brunch. Then we drove around the lakes for awhile while it rained and talked about healthcare and stories from our respected jobs. We laughed a lot as usual, but we also had a real conversation. That is a very rare occurrence and it was really great. He told me he loves me. I said it back. You know. Like ya do.
-A few hours in the afternoon to myself at home. That is so rare and incredibly wonderful. I watched some tv and made dinner. It's the little things.
-how vibrant everything looks after the rain goes away. So green and wonderful.
-the warm weather. Finally!
-Cool showers
-water
-the basics
-as always, my friends.
Friday, June 14, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-14-13
Today I am grateful for:
-Metro Transit. Allowing me to not have to pay over ten dollars in parking downtown.
-the corporate gig this morning going pretty well considering all the madness that proceeded our bit
-being able to nap between the corporate gig and rehearsal for an hour
-rehearsal. Not an extremely productive day, but that's totally fine considering our morning
-my pre-made lunch. It held up pretty well if I do say so myself
-nap #2 between rehearsal and the show tonight. Another hour!
-Kashi's frozen dinner. Pesto Pasta Premavera. It was super tasty, easy to make, surprising healthy, and had lots of peas in it! Also totally affordable. That's a win all around for me. :)
-a really nice audience even though they were small
-super fun improv set. We didn't know who was playing in what games tonight, which kept us on our toes. Our montage was great. Solid patient scenes, lots of fun games, a bunch of hilarious characters, and we ended the montage with a fun musical scene.
-laughter
-My friends Bffl and Bead. It's their birthday today. They're so great. Quick story about both of them. Bffl and I have known each other since high school 2002 I believe. So 14 years?! Omg I did not think about that until just now. There are so many fantastical stories I could say about Bffl, but I'll just tell a short one. Once when we went to Chino Latino (and pretty wasted) we decided to order a banana split for dessert. The waiter looked at us and said, do you know how big this is? And Hannah was like YES! I don't think she knew. It was probably the size of the whole table. It was massive! Probably meant to be eaten by at least 6 people. At least! We laughed about it and actually another table joined us to help us finish the dessert. Win! Now a story about Bead. Bead and I met in college, but actually didn't really become close friends until we both graduated. Bead is the best. She taught me how to make peach pie! We also share a love for both Ever After and The Addam's Family Values. She's a hilarious and always catches me off guard with how funny she is. Like one time I told her I was pissed at someone and I didn't know how to really fix the situation with them and she just looked at me and held out her hand, made a fist, and then pushed her fist down like she was holding someone's head under water. I was so surprised and stunned that she did that I burst out laughing. I think that might have been the moment our friendship solidified. Happy birthday, ladies. I'm so grateful that they were born. Thank you for being such amazing friends.
-getting a ride home from Lauren. As much as I love metro transit, I'm not the biggest fan of taking it home late at night.
-the weather being so nice today
-the basics
-hot showers
-having the apartment to myself. So I can walk around naked! Jk. Or am I? :)
-this quote:
"Try again. Fail again. Fail better."
-as always, my friends
-Metro Transit. Allowing me to not have to pay over ten dollars in parking downtown.
-the corporate gig this morning going pretty well considering all the madness that proceeded our bit
-being able to nap between the corporate gig and rehearsal for an hour
-rehearsal. Not an extremely productive day, but that's totally fine considering our morning
-my pre-made lunch. It held up pretty well if I do say so myself
-nap #2 between rehearsal and the show tonight. Another hour!
-Kashi's frozen dinner. Pesto Pasta Premavera. It was super tasty, easy to make, surprising healthy, and had lots of peas in it! Also totally affordable. That's a win all around for me. :)
-a really nice audience even though they were small
-super fun improv set. We didn't know who was playing in what games tonight, which kept us on our toes. Our montage was great. Solid patient scenes, lots of fun games, a bunch of hilarious characters, and we ended the montage with a fun musical scene.
-laughter
-My friends Bffl and Bead. It's their birthday today. They're so great. Quick story about both of them. Bffl and I have known each other since high school 2002 I believe. So 14 years?! Omg I did not think about that until just now. There are so many fantastical stories I could say about Bffl, but I'll just tell a short one. Once when we went to Chino Latino (and pretty wasted) we decided to order a banana split for dessert. The waiter looked at us and said, do you know how big this is? And Hannah was like YES! I don't think she knew. It was probably the size of the whole table. It was massive! Probably meant to be eaten by at least 6 people. At least! We laughed about it and actually another table joined us to help us finish the dessert. Win! Now a story about Bead. Bead and I met in college, but actually didn't really become close friends until we both graduated. Bead is the best. She taught me how to make peach pie! We also share a love for both Ever After and The Addam's Family Values. She's a hilarious and always catches me off guard with how funny she is. Like one time I told her I was pissed at someone and I didn't know how to really fix the situation with them and she just looked at me and held out her hand, made a fist, and then pushed her fist down like she was holding someone's head under water. I was so surprised and stunned that she did that I burst out laughing. I think that might have been the moment our friendship solidified. Happy birthday, ladies. I'm so grateful that they were born. Thank you for being such amazing friends.
-getting a ride home from Lauren. As much as I love metro transit, I'm not the biggest fan of taking it home late at night.
-the weather being so nice today
-the basics
-hot showers
-having the apartment to myself. So I can walk around naked! Jk. Or am I? :)
-this quote:
"Try again. Fail again. Fail better."
-as always, my friends
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-13-13
Today I am grateful for:
-being able to sleep in. I wasn't suppose to be able to do that today. However as luck would have it my plans changed and I was able to. Word up!
-podcasts. TAL was good this week.
-The metro. Again, a really great ride from my house to downtown. I honestly should just get a metro card.
-VOs. Working with Augsburg today. They got a new big project that we started working on today. It's fun. I get to play two new characters. A 7 year old named Otto and a 5th grader named Mimi. They're very different from one another. It was hard, but I had a lot of fun. I love a good challenge.
-getting my test results back from the doctor. The next day yo! I'm no longer anemic! Woo hoo! I need to lower my cholesterol a bit but otherwise things are good to go! I'm definitely sticking with this doctor. Oh I also got a new cream for my hand. There's a possibility that it'll make my scars go away for good. I don't even know what I would do with myself.
-subway. I appreciate that they're convenient and relatively healthy in the grand scheme of things. Also cheap.
-laughter
-A nice audience for the night even though they were small.
-Fun improv set. I challenged myself to make bigger physical declarations.
-The apartment all to myself for the weekend!
-the beautiful crescent moon
-padre picking me up after my show.
-the basics
-planning ahead. I have a long day tomorrow so I made myself either lunch or dinner. I'm gonna guess it's going to be lunch and then I'll figure out dinner downtown.
-as always, my friends.
-being able to sleep in. I wasn't suppose to be able to do that today. However as luck would have it my plans changed and I was able to. Word up!
-podcasts. TAL was good this week.
-The metro. Again, a really great ride from my house to downtown. I honestly should just get a metro card.
-VOs. Working with Augsburg today. They got a new big project that we started working on today. It's fun. I get to play two new characters. A 7 year old named Otto and a 5th grader named Mimi. They're very different from one another. It was hard, but I had a lot of fun. I love a good challenge.
-getting my test results back from the doctor. The next day yo! I'm no longer anemic! Woo hoo! I need to lower my cholesterol a bit but otherwise things are good to go! I'm definitely sticking with this doctor. Oh I also got a new cream for my hand. There's a possibility that it'll make my scars go away for good. I don't even know what I would do with myself.
-subway. I appreciate that they're convenient and relatively healthy in the grand scheme of things. Also cheap.
-laughter
-A nice audience for the night even though they were small.
-Fun improv set. I challenged myself to make bigger physical declarations.
-The apartment all to myself for the weekend!
-the beautiful crescent moon
-padre picking me up after my show.
-the basics
-planning ahead. I have a long day tomorrow so I made myself either lunch or dinner. I'm gonna guess it's going to be lunch and then I'll figure out dinner downtown.
-as always, my friends.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-12-13
Today I am grateful for:
-my new doctor. Dr. Toll. She was amazing. Talked to me for a really long time and just explained everything and listened to me. I honestly haven't ever had that with a doctor before. Usually its like get in get out get poked get prodded kthxbai. Woof. It did not feel that way this time. I genuinely felt cared for. My appointment was at 11 and I was there until 12:30. She's officially my new doctor. Boom.
-the nurse taking my blood did it in one go and it was super easy and painless. Double boom.
-The really nice lady at the post office. She seemed very kind.
-Lunch with Jen. So great. I was really hungry (I was fasting in the morning because of the doctor) and demolished my lunch at Jasmine Deli. It was good to catch up with Jen though. I think she's doing well. Jen is amazing at asking questions. I'm trying to be better at that. Sometimes the questions I want to ask I don't know are 100% appropriate. Working on it. Anyway, we chatted about how things were going in our lives and giggled and cooed over Oscar and his adorableness. Then we got a donut and called it a day. Triple boom.
-an hour car nap by the lake
-standing up for myself.
-going for a drive and ice cream with Padre. We chatted about my new doctor and discussed how much we both liked Scandal and if and how I should become ordained online. I'm gonna do it I'm pretty sure I just need to figure out how. We're gonna have to sit down and look it over online.
-my wonderful Everyday 1 class. They're so sweet and really excited to learn. They support one another so well. It's actually beautiful to watch. Even when they struggle the class holds each other up and gives each other complements and support. I love it. They're super engaged in the exercises and ask really great questions. Quadruple boom!
-Amaris. Today is her birthday. Words can't express how grateful I am that she was born. I'll never forget the first time I met Amy in our freshman seminar introduction meeting when she said, "Fer Shizzle" and being 100% serious. I had no idea people talked like that for real. Not to mention her thick Californian (Valley Girl) accent. I also can't forget how she just bounded up to me after that class and introduced herself to me and immediately asked if I wanted to go with her into the Village to the record store. I had no idea who this person was but my terrified little self said yes and we've been friends ever since. I'm so grateful for her exuberant energy and personality that helped bring me out of my shell. I'm grateful for our talks freshman year in various rooms and dorms about who even knows what. I'm grateful for her love and support throughout the years and her uncanny ability to always hear me and say exactly the right thing. Happy birthday Amy. I'm so grateful you're my best friend and my wifey for lifey. Yatta! :)
-my new doctor. Dr. Toll. She was amazing. Talked to me for a really long time and just explained everything and listened to me. I honestly haven't ever had that with a doctor before. Usually its like get in get out get poked get prodded kthxbai. Woof. It did not feel that way this time. I genuinely felt cared for. My appointment was at 11 and I was there until 12:30. She's officially my new doctor. Boom.
-the nurse taking my blood did it in one go and it was super easy and painless. Double boom.
-The really nice lady at the post office. She seemed very kind.
-Lunch with Jen. So great. I was really hungry (I was fasting in the morning because of the doctor) and demolished my lunch at Jasmine Deli. It was good to catch up with Jen though. I think she's doing well. Jen is amazing at asking questions. I'm trying to be better at that. Sometimes the questions I want to ask I don't know are 100% appropriate. Working on it. Anyway, we chatted about how things were going in our lives and giggled and cooed over Oscar and his adorableness. Then we got a donut and called it a day. Triple boom.
-an hour car nap by the lake
-standing up for myself.
-going for a drive and ice cream with Padre. We chatted about my new doctor and discussed how much we both liked Scandal and if and how I should become ordained online. I'm gonna do it I'm pretty sure I just need to figure out how. We're gonna have to sit down and look it over online.
-my wonderful Everyday 1 class. They're so sweet and really excited to learn. They support one another so well. It's actually beautiful to watch. Even when they struggle the class holds each other up and gives each other complements and support. I love it. They're super engaged in the exercises and ask really great questions. Quadruple boom!
-Amaris. Today is her birthday. Words can't express how grateful I am that she was born. I'll never forget the first time I met Amy in our freshman seminar introduction meeting when she said, "Fer Shizzle" and being 100% serious. I had no idea people talked like that for real. Not to mention her thick Californian (Valley Girl) accent. I also can't forget how she just bounded up to me after that class and introduced herself to me and immediately asked if I wanted to go with her into the Village to the record store. I had no idea who this person was but my terrified little self said yes and we've been friends ever since. I'm so grateful for her exuberant energy and personality that helped bring me out of my shell. I'm grateful for our talks freshman year in various rooms and dorms about who even knows what. I'm grateful for her love and support throughout the years and her uncanny ability to always hear me and say exactly the right thing. Happy birthday Amy. I'm so grateful you're my best friend and my wifey for lifey. Yatta! :)
 |
| 2005 Getting ready for 90's themed party We both have crooked fingers |
 |
| 2011 Getting ready for an actual party We still have crooked fingers. |
-the basics
-water
-crafting. Here are my recent projects:
-the weather getting nice half way through the day. We just might have more than one week of summer. Fingers crossed!
-as always, my friends
 |
| Subway wall art for Amy. It took forever, but it was suuuper fun to do. And now I can do it more often and efficiently! |
 |
| A drawing of Sailor Moon. Amy's favorite show. I'm pretty pumped about how it turned out actually. |
-as always, my friends
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-11-13
Today I am grateful for:
-Getting a call from Hannah. She and Madde were having breakfast at Gigi's and invited me. I really appreciated the invite. We caught up which was nice considering its been awhile.
-NUTS
-The metro. The bus ride from my house to downtown is pretty great and super convenient.
-Podcasts
-This quote:
"Hope is a function of struggle."
-a productive rehearsal. We blocked all the parts for History of Terror.
-laughter
-my porch. I don't really ever sit out there, but today I thought I would because it was so nice outside. I need to utilize my porch more.
-Ruth coming over to hang out. I made dinner and we sat outside in the back yard. It was so beautiful out tonight. The weather was in the low 70s with a nice breeze. My favorite. :) Then we watched The Voice and SYTYCD. Man I love SYTYCD.
-My back yard. Again, something I don't take advantage of enough. I'm going to be changing that very soon.
-the basics
-the peaceful feeling I get when I look up into the clouds.
-meditating
-as always, my friends.
-Getting a call from Hannah. She and Madde were having breakfast at Gigi's and invited me. I really appreciated the invite. We caught up which was nice considering its been awhile.
-NUTS
-The metro. The bus ride from my house to downtown is pretty great and super convenient.
-Podcasts
-This quote:
"Hope is a function of struggle."
-a productive rehearsal. We blocked all the parts for History of Terror.
-laughter
-my porch. I don't really ever sit out there, but today I thought I would because it was so nice outside. I need to utilize my porch more.
-Ruth coming over to hang out. I made dinner and we sat outside in the back yard. It was so beautiful out tonight. The weather was in the low 70s with a nice breeze. My favorite. :) Then we watched The Voice and SYTYCD. Man I love SYTYCD.
-My back yard. Again, something I don't take advantage of enough. I'm going to be changing that very soon.
-the basics
-the peaceful feeling I get when I look up into the clouds.
-meditating
-as always, my friends.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-10-13
Today I am grateful for:
-NUTS
-Rehearsal
-the sun shining nice and bright outside!
-the days getting longer
-group. We almost didn't have it. At 6:30 no one else was there. After 20 more minutes only one other person showed up. However it was good. Lots of listening and insight. One member talked a lot about her family and how she struggles to stand up for what she wants to do and what she believes others want her to do. It was really nice to listen. I also found my voice and shared too.
-one of the group leaders saying that in group it seems like I am able to speak my mind and know what I want. That's good to know that she feels that way since it's something that I struggle so hard to do in every day life. I could argue against that, but I'm just gonna take the complement. :)
-chatting with the group leaders a bit today one on one. They seem like really nice ladies.
-laughter
-hanging out with Ruth. We had sushi for dinner and caught up on our lives. Ruth told me about her trip to DC, which sounded like a blast and a half. I told her that I was in group therapy. I didn't say what for, but she didn't ask so there's that. Then we got some coconut ice cream and headed back to my place to watch SYTYCD. Also great. Lots of laughter was had. Lots of complements were given. Lots of tabs were made. (In conversation so we didn't interrupt the flow.) We also talked about the various books and shows we're watching. (Tiny Beautiful Things, Daring Greatly, and Scandal.) Sigh. I'm so very grateful she's my friend.
-Ruth opening up and sharing. She doesn't give herself enough credit for all the amazing things she's doing. Lucky for her I will always give her credit when credit is due. I don't care how hard she rolls her eyes at me. I find her sharing courageous and I hope to learn from example.
-being present. I'm present thatsometimes most of the time I don't go into a lot of details about the things that I'm grateful for. Sometimes its because I'm tired and I don't have the energy to go in depth. Sometimes its because I feel like I'm boasting or bragging. I'm not. I'm allowed to be excited about the things in my life and writing down the details are important so I can reflect and remember the wonderful people and things that happen around me. Ruth mentioned tonight how I remember everything. It might be both a blessing and a curse sometimes, but I do think it's a strong quality I have which I am grateful for. I also really appreciated that she recognized it. I also know that when it comes to other people and things my memory is so much stronger. I feel like I don't allow myself to take some credit for my own achievements. I'm learning to be my own friend. I'm learning incredibly painfully slowly that I matter and am worthy of recognition. Haha it's funny how this thought so easily lines up with what I was just saying about Ruth.
-Daring Greatly
-the basics
-as always, my friends
-NUTS
-Rehearsal
-the sun shining nice and bright outside!
-the days getting longer
-group. We almost didn't have it. At 6:30 no one else was there. After 20 more minutes only one other person showed up. However it was good. Lots of listening and insight. One member talked a lot about her family and how she struggles to stand up for what she wants to do and what she believes others want her to do. It was really nice to listen. I also found my voice and shared too.
-one of the group leaders saying that in group it seems like I am able to speak my mind and know what I want. That's good to know that she feels that way since it's something that I struggle so hard to do in every day life. I could argue against that, but I'm just gonna take the complement. :)
-chatting with the group leaders a bit today one on one. They seem like really nice ladies.
-laughter
-hanging out with Ruth. We had sushi for dinner and caught up on our lives. Ruth told me about her trip to DC, which sounded like a blast and a half. I told her that I was in group therapy. I didn't say what for, but she didn't ask so there's that. Then we got some coconut ice cream and headed back to my place to watch SYTYCD. Also great. Lots of laughter was had. Lots of complements were given. Lots of tabs were made. (In conversation so we didn't interrupt the flow.) We also talked about the various books and shows we're watching. (Tiny Beautiful Things, Daring Greatly, and Scandal.) Sigh. I'm so very grateful she's my friend.
-Ruth opening up and sharing. She doesn't give herself enough credit for all the amazing things she's doing. Lucky for her I will always give her credit when credit is due. I don't care how hard she rolls her eyes at me. I find her sharing courageous and I hope to learn from example.
-being present. I'm present that
-Daring Greatly
-the basics
-as always, my friends
Gratitude on the go! 6-9-13
Today I am grateful for:
-getting 8 hours of sleep
-the sound of the rain outside
-the smell of fresh rain
-having no agenda today
-crafting all afternoon
-free laundry
-babysitting Oscar
-spending time with Jen
-Jen buying my dinner
-laughter
-the basics
-as always, my friends
-getting 8 hours of sleep
-the sound of the rain outside
-the smell of fresh rain
-having no agenda today
-crafting all afternoon
-free laundry
-babysitting Oscar
-spending time with Jen
-Jen buying my dinner
-laughter
-the basics
-as always, my friends
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-8-13
Today I am grateful for:
-how green everything is right now.
-this quote:
"The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination."
"The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new."
"May I live this day compassionate of heart, clear in word, gracious in awareness, courageous in thought, generous in love."
-the SMM. It's been a great three years. I really loved my time there. I hope that this is not the end of my time there, but if it is, I really am so thankful and grateful for it. I love my co-workers, my boss, the shows, the people, and the actual museum itself. I've said this before but I'll say it again. The SMM has been very significant in my life since I was little. I have extremely fond memories of waiting in line to see Omni Theater shows with my mom. The rain forest is one that stands out the most. It was one of the few things my mom and I did outside of being at home or at her work. I'm grateful for that. They had a really cool light exhibit when I was little too that I went with a bunch with my dad. You could play volleyball with your shadow. I remember thinking, "Wow. This is so futuristic." Haha. And I got to play a pirate! A real honest to goodness pirate. How many people can say that? Sigh. I can't deny that I'm sad. Because I am. I'm very sad. It's been a big part of my life basically since I graduated college. So thank you SMM. Thank you for giving me so much.
-The nice card my boss gave me.
-Jen Scott. I wish I was able to share more openly when I feel...Idk...anything I guess. Particularly when I'm feeling vulnerable. I wanted to tell Jen today how I'm so grateful for her energy, light, and kindness. I couldn't though because I knew I was going to cry. I did write her a quick email but still. She really does always seem to bring light on gloomier days. I am so grateful for that.
-meditation.
-a quiet afternoon
-my ipad
-a fun show
-donuts
-laughter
-swearing
-the basics
-as always, my friends
"The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new."
"May I live this day compassionate of heart, clear in word, gracious in awareness, courageous in thought, generous in love."
-the SMM. It's been a great three years. I really loved my time there. I hope that this is not the end of my time there, but if it is, I really am so thankful and grateful for it. I love my co-workers, my boss, the shows, the people, and the actual museum itself. I've said this before but I'll say it again. The SMM has been very significant in my life since I was little. I have extremely fond memories of waiting in line to see Omni Theater shows with my mom. The rain forest is one that stands out the most. It was one of the few things my mom and I did outside of being at home or at her work. I'm grateful for that. They had a really cool light exhibit when I was little too that I went with a bunch with my dad. You could play volleyball with your shadow. I remember thinking, "Wow. This is so futuristic." Haha. And I got to play a pirate! A real honest to goodness pirate. How many people can say that? Sigh. I can't deny that I'm sad. Because I am. I'm very sad. It's been a big part of my life basically since I graduated college. So thank you SMM. Thank you for giving me so much.
-The nice card my boss gave me.
-Jen Scott. I wish I was able to share more openly when I feel...Idk...anything I guess. Particularly when I'm feeling vulnerable. I wanted to tell Jen today how I'm so grateful for her energy, light, and kindness. I couldn't though because I knew I was going to cry. I did write her a quick email but still. She really does always seem to bring light on gloomier days. I am so grateful for that.
-meditation.
-a quiet afternoon
-my ipad
-a fun show
-donuts
-laughter
-swearing
-the basics
-as always, my friends
Friday, June 7, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-7-13
Today I am grateful for:
-The SMM
-My Ipad
-Meditation
-the love and support I know I have even when I don't take advantage of it.
-the decent weather
-my kitty
-lovecake
-huffington post
-a sweet audience
-a lovely volunteer
-crafting
-the basics
-as always, my friends.
-The SMM
-My Ipad
-Meditation
-the love and support I know I have even when I don't take advantage of it.
-the decent weather
-my kitty
-lovecake
-huffington post
-a sweet audience
-a lovely volunteer
-crafting
-the basics
-as always, my friends.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-6-13
Today I am grateful for:
-babysitting Oscar. He was a gem. He was all smiles the whole time.
-Lunch with Megan and Jen (and respected babies)
-seeing a movie with Andy. After Earth. It was awful, but it was also awesome to go and see how bad it was.
-laughter
-a full audience
-the basics
-egg drop soup
-as always, my friends.
-babysitting Oscar. He was a gem. He was all smiles the whole time.
-Lunch with Megan and Jen (and respected babies)
-seeing a movie with Andy. After Earth. It was awful, but it was also awesome to go and see how bad it was.
-laughter
-a full audience
-the basics
-egg drop soup
-as always, my friends.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-5-13
Today I am grateful for:
-babysitting Oscar this morning. He was super adorable, as always. Also slept most of the time. When he wasn't sleeping he was being really smiley. :)
-A short rehearsal
-being able to cook dinner at home.
-teaching my first adult improv class at the workshop! Oh man what a great class. 20 students from all different walks of life. We did a lot of introductions and games, they asked good questions and were all very enthused and smiley.
-watching Paranormal Activity 4 with Anna.
-the basics
-laughter
-as always, my friends.
-babysitting Oscar this morning. He was super adorable, as always. Also slept most of the time. When he wasn't sleeping he was being really smiley. :)
-A short rehearsal
-being able to cook dinner at home.
-teaching my first adult improv class at the workshop! Oh man what a great class. 20 students from all different walks of life. We did a lot of introductions and games, they asked good questions and were all very enthused and smiley.
-watching Paranormal Activity 4 with Anna.
-the basics
-laughter
-as always, my friends.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-4-13
Today I am grateful for:
-This quote:
"Listening is a magnetic thing. The friends that really listen to us are the ones we move toward."
-my therapist. We talked more about how to ask for what I want and why it's so hard for me to do it. We also touched on my (most likely irrational) fear of getting pregnant. Not of having a baby, which I used to believe was interchangeable, but the act of actually having a baby. Food for thought for sure. In other news, my therapist recently moved locations. I like her new space. It's much bigger. A lot more space for kids to play, which is awesome.
-Being present.*
-a productive rehearsal.
-dinner and fro-yo with Kevin.
-crafting
-being quiet
-some nice texts from friends
-remembering to breathe
-the basics
-as always, my friends.
*I'm present today that I've been feeling angry. I don't know how to deal with anger (yet), but I do recognize that I am angry. I'm angry about the struggle that I have with expressing myself and saying how I feel. I'm angry that I don't think I'm worthy of that expression. Partly I think (or at least my therapist kind of helped me clarify) if I express myself about how I'm actually feeling that my friends will stop being my friends. I mean it makes sense. It's been a pattern in my life so far. The times that I've spoken up and expressed myself it's either fallen on deaf ears or I get chewed out and tossed aside. So as a result I'll do whatever it takes to make the other person happy and definitely at times to the detriment of my own feelings. A friend of mine told me that I was, "kind to a fault." Woof. That was hard to hear. Most of the time that I want to speak up it's just about stupid stuff. Plans get cancelled, people show up late, questions don't get answered, etc. It just doesn't seem like a good idea to say, "I'm actually pissed that you cancelled our plans 15 minutes before they were suppose to happen." Or, "I'm pretty frustrated that you showed up an hour later than we planned even though you knew I was waiting." I mean what's the point in that bullshit? Those are stupid little problems that I shouldn't care about. I feel like by saying anything I'm causing drama, being selfish, and probably make other people feel guilty or, heaven forbid, ashamed of their actions. I don't want that. However, I know there are bigger issues at play underneath the little ones that I do care about and I'm working on accepting that those feelings are valid. I'm allowed to be angry. And maybe one day I'll be able to express my anger in a healthy manor.
-This quote:
"Listening is a magnetic thing. The friends that really listen to us are the ones we move toward."
-my therapist. We talked more about how to ask for what I want and why it's so hard for me to do it. We also touched on my (most likely irrational) fear of getting pregnant. Not of having a baby, which I used to believe was interchangeable, but the act of actually having a baby. Food for thought for sure. In other news, my therapist recently moved locations. I like her new space. It's much bigger. A lot more space for kids to play, which is awesome.
-Being present.*
-a productive rehearsal.
-dinner and fro-yo with Kevin.
-crafting
-being quiet
-some nice texts from friends
-remembering to breathe
-the basics
-as always, my friends.
*I'm present today that I've been feeling angry. I don't know how to deal with anger (yet), but I do recognize that I am angry. I'm angry about the struggle that I have with expressing myself and saying how I feel. I'm angry that I don't think I'm worthy of that expression. Partly I think (or at least my therapist kind of helped me clarify) if I express myself about how I'm actually feeling that my friends will stop being my friends. I mean it makes sense. It's been a pattern in my life so far. The times that I've spoken up and expressed myself it's either fallen on deaf ears or I get chewed out and tossed aside. So as a result I'll do whatever it takes to make the other person happy and definitely at times to the detriment of my own feelings. A friend of mine told me that I was, "kind to a fault." Woof. That was hard to hear. Most of the time that I want to speak up it's just about stupid stuff. Plans get cancelled, people show up late, questions don't get answered, etc. It just doesn't seem like a good idea to say, "I'm actually pissed that you cancelled our plans 15 minutes before they were suppose to happen." Or, "I'm pretty frustrated that you showed up an hour later than we planned even though you knew I was waiting." I mean what's the point in that bullshit? Those are stupid little problems that I shouldn't care about. I feel like by saying anything I'm causing drama, being selfish, and probably make other people feel guilty or, heaven forbid, ashamed of their actions. I don't want that. However, I know there are bigger issues at play underneath the little ones that I do care about and I'm working on accepting that those feelings are valid. I'm allowed to be angry. And maybe one day I'll be able to express my anger in a healthy manor.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-3-13
Today I am grateful for:
-a productive teacher meeting for the history theater
-a productive rehearsal
-group
-laughter
-hanging out with Anna, Pop, and Steph.
-Anna and I doing the same reference about the movie Corrina Corrina.
-my car
-the basics
-as always, my friends
-a productive teacher meeting for the history theater
-a productive rehearsal
-group
-laughter
-hanging out with Anna, Pop, and Steph.
-Anna and I doing the same reference about the movie Corrina Corrina.
-my car
-the basics
-as always, my friends
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Gratitude on the go! 6-2-13
Today I am grateful for:
-sleeping in
-finishing my amazing book
-the light rail
-going to a twin's game with Anna.
-Seeing a bunch of people from the SMM.
-the basics
-laughter
-as always, my friends.
-sleeping in
-finishing my amazing book
-the light rail
-going to a twin's game with Anna.
 |
| Got to sit in a fancy box. There was a dessert cart that came around. That's all I'm saying. Added bonus: The Twins Won! |
-holding Jen's baby
-laughter
-a quiet evening at home
-chatting with Brian
-chatting with Amy
-watching a movie with Jaime
-THIS:
 |
| I'm sorry, but this was just too gouda to resist. |
-laughter
-as always, my friends.
Gratitude on the go! 6-1-13
Today I am grateful for:
-getting to sleep a bit later before going to work
-making it to a meeting
-traffic being pretty light
-reading
-a fun show
-the basics
-laughter
-as always, my friends
-getting to sleep a bit later before going to work
-making it to a meeting
-traffic being pretty light
-reading
-a fun show
-the basics
-laughter
-as always, my friends
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