-It being October. It's my birthday month y'all!
-the wonderful weather!
-inventing Hug it out Monday. Every monday I'm gonna find someone and hug it out.
-Jen Scott. I feel like I've talked about her a lot lately, but I really think she's just the bee's knees. Such a wonderful, kind, and authentic person. I don't know many people that are authentic like her.
-getting my first Birthday present. Here's what it is:
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| I've heard nothing but amazing things about this game. It's like Apples to Apples, only extremely dirty. I cannot wait to play it! Thank you Jen! |
-learning the expression, "Jazz Acting." It's like improv, but its not. In jazz, you have a structure that you follow but you can improvise within that structure. Sometimes when you're learning a new script, you jazz act if you can't really remember your exact lines. Brilliant. Using that from now on.
-being a part of the All Star Variety Show Bonanza and all the talented people that put it together. It always pushes me to try things that scare me. I'm very grateful for that.
-These quote:
"Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else's life forever"
"You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment."
-being present.
-admitting to myself that I sometimes get afraid and learning to deal with my fears. This passage by Brene Brown really captures exactly what I'm thinking but didn't have the words to say it:
"Fear is so sticky and cyclical. We're afraid to express hard emotions or we're afraid that we've made mistakes that are going to cause [others] unnecessary pain, so we can't quite get to loving-kindness. We can't be kind, gentle, and forgiving with ourselves, which is, ironically, what we need to do in order to help [others] be kind, gentle, and forgiving with themselves. Once we name [our] fears, we start stripping them of their darkness. When we say them out loud or leave them in the comment section of a blog, or share them with the people we love, we shine light on them. In the recovery movement there's a little saying about fear meaning one of two things:
a. FEAR = F*ck Everything And Run! or b. FEAR = Face Everything And Recover.
Maybe by writing all of this down and naming it, we're practicing the ordinary courage we need to be kinder, gentler and more forgiving with ourselves. I don't think we need to beat fear down - just hold it and soothe it."
-practicing self love.-Acknowledging that how I'm feeling right now, in this very moment, I'm having a hard time letting go. I'm having a hard time letting go of the fact that I can't really put clear thoughts to what I want to say. The idea is there but the words just cannot form. I want to talk about how this week has been difficult but remain positive in this post. This blog has done amazing things for me over the past few months because when ever I'm struggling with Waking Up I can read back on this blog and see how much I have to be grateful for. But I also think there is some value and looking back and seeing what I've been struggling with. I don't have the words for it yet. I don't know how to write it. Part of me is afraid that it's too simple. That my thoughts are not valid and my writing is weak. I know they are just thoughts that I'm writing out, but still! Why can't I just say what I want to say! However, I'm taking a deep breath, and I'm going to call it a night. I'll draft my thoughts for another day when things become more clear.
-as always, my friends
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