Gratitude on the go! 9-30-13

Today I am grateful for:
-this quote:
"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance."
-Another beautiful day of weather.
-having the time to pack a lunch before first day of rehearsal
-a quick and easy costume fitting for a shoot on Thursday
-group. It was just two of us today and I didn't talk at all. It was really wonderful actually. At first I thought I'd want to talk a bit, but as time went on and I saw how much the other group member had on her mind and needed to talk I was so more than happy to take a back seat. It was very interesting to hear some parallels in her journey and mine. It gave me a bunch to think about and lean in to. And not in an overwhelming way at all. The think that stuck out the most was when she talked about how it was easy for her to forgive one family member and not the other. We (as a group) came to the conclusion that the family member that she could forgive actually owned up and admitted their mistakes as the other member did not. I was dealing with this same subject not too long ago myself. I was struggling to understand why I could forgive one parent, who was over sharing  me with a lot of personal work and life problems, but not the other. Tonight made me realize that one apologized and thanked me for listening and caring while the other it feels like more of an obligation. It was a hard but good discovery.
-being told I have a calming voice and a good focusing exercise. Wish I could take credit for the exercise but I most definitely got it from my therapist. I guess I'm glad I'm able to present it successfully to others.
-a quick chat with padre to see how he's doing
-a quiet evening at home catching up on some tv shows. It's "research." It actually kind of is.
-my friend Amanda. It's her birthday today. It's a bit nuts to think that we've only been friends for not even two years. The first time we actually really hung out I was going to see Ruth and Amanda was there because they just became roommates. I remember sitting on the couch with her and I unfortunately don't remember exactly what she said but it had something to do with movies and our birthdays and I remember her just looking over at me and saying, "Did we just become best friends?" And I said, "YUP!" And the rest is history. She's really incredible and smart and hilarious. I'm so grateful she was born. I'm also super grateful that she's not moving away.
-the basics
-laughter
-melatonin
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 9-29-13

Today I am grateful for:
-these quotes:
"Compassion diminishes fright about your own pain and increases inner strength."

"Truth is a deep kindness that teaches us to be content in our everyday life and share with the people the same happiness."

"A genuine, affectionate smile is very important in our day to day lives."
-Nathaniel working at Caribou. He was very complimentary of my VO work. Always good to hear. :)
-National coffee day. At Caribou they were giving away free cups of coffee. Way to go Caribou! It's a shame I don't drink coffee. (Not really)
-This picture:

We finally got a picture together with all three of us.
I love these ladies
They make me a better person. 

-Spending the gorgeous afternoon outside with one of my best friends. The weather could not have been more perfect.

Aim's and I at the rose garden
It was glorious
No filter necessary 

Boom. Bloom.
No filter needed for this beauty either!
#Lookforthelight

I actually didn't take this picture
Mo took it and put it on instagram
But it was so beautiful I had to repost it here.  Look at all those fall colors!

I am sometimes genuinely in shock and awe of my amazing city.
I live here. This is my home. It's breath taking.
I honestly couldn't drink up enough of this beautiful view today.

We found a viking on a canoe today!
"HoHOOOO!"
#TypicalMN

We also found a pile of dirt...#TypicalMN
But MPLS grew an Amy out of it!
MPLS Wins! 

-Amy convincing me to buy a pair of shoes at Heartbreaker. They're pretty amazing and totally my style (according to Amy)

-laughter

-being able to talk about boys.

-reminiscing about college years

-Jaime getting home safely

-Amy getting home safely

-The Breaking Bad finale. It was perfect. Everything wrapped up wonderfully tragically. I was glad to have Amanda, Anna, Brittany, and Roomie there to watch it with me. 

-Amanda liking her birthday present. I got her a coloring book called Man Junk. Yup. That's right. A coloring book of penises. #Adulting

-this amazingly beautiful weekend with my two best college friends. Seriously, I don't know what I would do if they weren't in my life. They both have so much incredible insight and wisdom and kindness. We've all changed a lot over the years, but our friendship has stayed strong. I am so grateful that they decided to come out and visit me here in MPLS. It meant the world to me. It really did. I couldn't help but tear up when they left. Not so much out of sadness, although that was mixed in there for sure, but because I'm so lucky and happy to call them my best friends. We hadn't seen each other (or honestly talked that much to each other) in the last 8 months and we picked up right where we left off. Their friendship is sacred to me and I can only hope that everyone has at least one friend that holds that place for them in their lives, too. 

-the basics

-leaning in

-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 9-28-13

Today I am grateful for:
-These quotes:
"We are one blink away from being fully awake."

"Happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it."
-An incredible treat yoself day. Let's view (most of) the day in pictures:

First we went to Caribou to get coffee/hot chocolate
We all wake up really slowly...#adulting
And while we were there, Amy found her coffee (Amy's Blend) :) 

Next up pedicures at Goddess Nails
The decadence was just beginning
Those massaging chairs were making our lives. 

Finished product!
We were all really happy with our color selections
Way to go, Goddess Nails!

Then we went to Wakame and had an incredible feast.
I tried eel for the first time, but for sure not the last time.
We seriously kicked this day's butt. 

-Amy and Jaime meeting up with me to get dinner between shows. Quick side note, Rock Bottom has really stepped up their game! I'm impressed. Anyway, Amy and Jaime told me about their shopping adventures in uptown, which sounded amazing, and then we parted ways again so I could do my last show of the week. They headed out to get ice cream at Sebastian Joe's. 

-A bomb ass audience for our second show. They seriously were laughing at everything! Boom! 

-A fun improv set. Nick was back in town and played set with us. He adds a lot to our sets. It's always great to have him join us.

-Amy and Jaime coming to watch the late night improv set. 

-ladies night in with Strongbow! We chatted about girly things and then watched Drop Dead Gorgeous. It's been a really long time since I've watched that movie. Although it's still extremely hilarious, I had no idea how incredibly offensive it was! Eeesh. 

-Bedtime chats

-laughter

-the basics

-as always, my friends. 

Gratitude on the go! 9-27-13

Today I am grateful for:

-this quote:

"Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have."

-a fantastic brunch at French Meadow. 

Two of my besties at brunch.
I love these ladies long time. 

-a relaxing afternoon at Lake Calhoun.

Beautiful lake day
 Beautiful ladies
Beautiful memories

So much love!

-the beautiful unseasonably warm weather. 

-a delicious dinner at Brasa. As usual. 

-some surprisingly good advice from an unexpected source. 

-laughter

-the basics

-some one on one chat time. 

-late night movie time in pjs. Bridesmaids. Outstanding. 

-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 9-26-13

Today I am grateful for:
-this quote:
"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams, who looks inside awakes."
-a really great first day for Seats To Stage. The kids were very willing to share and seemed to be somewhat excited.
-Amy and Jaime coming to visit! The next few days are going to be epic.
-the beautiful weather for September.
-laugher
-the basics
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 9-25-13

Today I am grateful for:
-this quote:
"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams, who looks inside awakes."
-time this morning to run some errands
-my landlord. He's been a really supportive guy whenever a stupid unfortunate situation comes up. I'm hoping it's all over with now, but its really nice to know that I have had his support.
-Pro-Crisis. I was able to watch a couple actual role plays in action today at a prison.* It was so educational and incredibly powerful. Some students were rockin it out and some were really struggling. That's all part of it though and that's why they have this training in the first place. After watching I definitely have more confidence in what I need to do to make this a successful educational experience.
-my class tonight. They're such a great group of students that seem to really want to learn and are always ready to try new things even when its hard. You can't ask for more than that.
-this amazing tea from the Tea Garden. I maaay have gotten it 3 days in a row. #worthit
-the basics
-laughter
-as always, my friends.

*The prison was very different from what I imagined. (Probably because I've watched too much Orange Is The New Black.) The actual landscape around the prison was quite beautiful, which is in some ways even harder to imagine being inside and only being able to look out. I also didn't get to walk around too much of the prison, but where the role plays took place was in a cell I believe. If that's actually the case, there are quiet a few people to one room, they have a bathroom (showers, toilets, sinks) inside the room itself, and also 4 pay phones. Also these tables that have built in games on it like checkers, chess, and solitaire. It was very interesting. Again, I'm not sure if that was an actual cell or a holding cell, but either way it was quite interesting.

Gratitude on the go! 9-24-13

Today I am grateful for:
-Sleeping the sleep of sleeps.
-Zarah calling me before her trip to London. So excited for her. And a wee bit jealous. Alright a lot bit jealous. But in a good way!
-My therapist. I so appreciate her support and reassurance. I explained to her about how I was in the hot seat last night in group and how it threw me for a loop. The conclusion we came to was that I was struggling with the fact that I was been heard, but not understood. Also that the things we were talking about were things that I already knew! There was no new information being given last night, which is why I was so frustrated that I couldn't convey that. We also talked about how it was okay that I wasn't able to deal with the feelings I was having at group because I honestly couldn't. I had somewhere to be and if I dealt with those emotions immediately I wouldn't have been able to go to the Ivey's. The important thing is that I did deal with them later that night and today in therapy. Props again to her for helping me see that perspective. Anyway, processing that was wonderful and it was like the train went back on the right tracks again. The train was never derailed, just on a different track. I left our session today feeling very calm and collected which is not how I was feeling when I went in. I know part of that was being able to just actually talk about it as opposed to keeping it in. The other part I believe was my therapist has just a very calming energy which is contagious in the best way possible.
-This article. Sorry I'm not sorry, World, but this is almost exactly how I feel about that song.*
-A fun VO. Got to try a lot of new fun things.
-this picture:

Roomie took this picture of us at the Ivey's.
Roomie's the best.
#winning!

-being able to help out at callbacks. People really rocked it out. I genuinely laughed at pretty much everyone's choices they were making. In the end, that's all you can ask for. Strong choices. 

-getting an email from Lizgibbs! It's been so long! It was wonderful to hear from her. I have to respond to her email still (which I'll be doing right after I finish this post), but just the fact that she reached out to connect again is a win. She's such good people. So many amazing memories from college. Sigh. Or should I say, Le sigh. :) I've heard hows she's doing a bit through the grape vine (Litza) and I'm excited to hopefully hear more! 

-the basics

-laughter

-as always, my friends. 

*Just a quick side note, there is something I struggle with in this piece. This article talks about Feminists with a capital F as opposed to a lower case f. I personally think a feminist is a feminist. If you believe in equal rights for men and women, then you're a feminist! That's it. The end. Some people, particularly women in this case, might have stronger opinions about certain things, but that doesn't make them anymore feminist than me. It just makes us human. 

Gratitude on the go! 9-23-13

Today I am grateful for:
-the beautiful weather
-group. Although tonight was unexpectedly hard. I felt overwhelmed and anxious. I could tell physically because my heart rate was up, I started sweating, my shoulders went up to my ears, and I felt like I was going to cry. I just didn't understand the line of questioning I was getting. So I felt stupid and ashamed. It was hard. I'm upset that I couldn't actually let myself get upset because I had somewhere to go immediately afterward and couldn't afford to get worked up. I still don't know exactly what to think of group. I know that I am grateful for it and that I obviously still have some things to work on.
-the twin cities theater community. The Ivey's were tonight and every season I am reminded again how incredible we all are.
-these lovely women:

Killin it at the Iveys

-EGBOK

-laughter

-the basics

-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 9-22-13

Today I am grateful for:
-sleeping 10 hours. 10 HOURS!
-having brunch with Kevin. We went to the Bad Waitress and then sat out by the lake. Lots of laughter was had obviously.
-the gorgeous weather today. High 60s with a slight breeze. Fall has fallen.
-a good group of kids for class today.
-having friends over to watch Breaking Bad
-Late night Taco run with Amanda and Brittany.
-laughter
-the basics
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 9-21-13

Today I am grateful for:
-this quote:
"I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward."
-warm smiles
-a phone convo with Litza. It's been awhile and it was really nice to catch up. She's a pretty extraordinary individual that I always seem to learn a lot from. I love how passionate she is about everything around her. It's inspiring.
-being present. I'm for sure aware that today was much more of a struggle than I expected it to be. You know it's bad when you kind of lose your shit because your free parking spot was occupied today. Yeah...I know a huge part of it was because I didn't get enough sleep and I didn't really eat anything at an appropriate time, which, no duh, is going to cause me to get agitated. I just was a bit surprised on how much I got upset. I started to feel stuck. I'd be lying to say I don't feel that way anymore. I'm going to sleep on it and hope it just chocks up to it being a long day. Fingers crossed. I did reach out though! Which leads me to my next point:
-the amazing reassuring and loving voicemail Amy left me. I'm for sure going to be saving that for another rainy day.
-all the support in my life. I'm so lucky to have all these incredible people surround me and know they'll be there for me if/when the time comes.
-having a totally solitude dinner. I needed that bit of a reboot between shows.
-laughter
-the basics
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 9-20-13

Today I am grateful for:
-sleeping about 9 to 10 hours
-having the day off. I cannot even express how grateful I am about this. I've been sick the past few days with a non-stop schedule. So today was exactly what the doctor ordered. I watched tv, ate some delicious soup, did some emailing, received some emails, figured out things I'd like to do for my birthday*, and didn't talk at all. It was great.
-padre bringing me some soup
-laughter
-the basics
-as always, my friends

*Get a henna tattoo, watch 31 new scary movies (13 of which I have to have never seen before), and maybe go ziplining?

Gratitude on the go! 9-19-13

Today I am grateful for:
-Youth Frontiers. They really do amazing things for the kids. Even the difficult ones.
-The email thread from Jaime and Amy. One. Week. GAH!
-having a late lunch/early dinner with Rita to talk about potentially nannying come the new year.
-hearing stories in many different mediums. Be it by podcast, in person, blog, or otherwise, a good story does wonders for me. It fuels me. Its a form of connection that I love and wish I had more of in my life. I hope that inspiration from others drives me further to find my own voice and stories.
-a great Thursday night crowd. They were small but mighty.
-the word Doink. It brings a smile to my face just thinking about it in a sentence. Hehehe.
-laughter
-this being the last early, early morning I'll have for awhile.
-hot showers
-the basics
-swearing
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 9-18-13

Today I am grateful for:
-this quote:
"Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
-my great class. They work hard and I love to see them process.
-extroverts. They pull me out of my shell.

-The calm feeling I get when I see the lake glissen from the moon light.
-late night drives with padre
-this video:

Geena Davis Archery Tricks from Geena Davis      

-laughter
-the basics
-everyone wishing my mom a happy birthday. She deserves all the love.
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 9-17-13

Today I am grateful for:
-my early morning cup of tea
-being back at Youth Frontiers. I'm glad my first retreat back was with Joe and Rita. They were super supportive and said I was exactly what they needed for on call work, which I'm thrilled about. Not to mention the kids were great and I just love so much the message behind the organization.
-Being able to be up front about my schedule with Joe and telling him that Tuesdays in general is the day I'm taking off for myself.
-my therapist. I went in still feeling very stressed and by the end I was feeling super calm. She was pretty wonderful at asking me what I wanted and needed and just making sure I have the basics down like eating, sleeping, exercise, etc. So far I'm pretty good about those things. I really want to thank her for helping me find my calm. She can always allows me to see a different perspective that really helps me out. Not to mention her energy usually helps me to shift my energy in a wonderfully positive way.
-dinner with padre
-support
-getting two wonderful picture emails. One from Amy:

Right back at you, friend

and one from Youth Frontiers:

Boom.
Changing lives.
Win

-the basics

-laughter

-texting 

-being open

-being honest

-as always, my friends. 

Gratitude on the go! 9-16-13

Today I am grateful for:
-being able to sleep in
-doing a visualization that reminded me how amazing it was to be asked to work at the workshop. Seriously floods of memories came back to me about that exact moment. I was standing in the white wall and floor hallway on the second floor at the science museum. I was all alone and freaking out. I remember shaking and smiling and wanting to cry and sit down and jump for joy and yell all at the same time. However, I remember I was also just on a 10 minute break and I had to tell my boss at the science museum because this would obviously conflict with Pirate rehearsals. I'll never forget her smile on her face and saying, "That is so exciting! Take it. We'll make this work. Congratulations." I also remember hearing my dad's voice when I called him to tell him and how excited he was for me too. What an amazing memory to re-remember. :)
-some guy on a motorcycle complementing my cowboy boots.
-the warm sun on my face mixed with the cool breeze on my skin.
-group. I know I'm struggling a bit because I've overbooked myself again. It's been a long time since it's happened, but it's happened. I found myself struggling in group because I didn't really know what to talk about. I asked for time but I just kind of said, "I'm stressed?" They listened though, which was great.
-being told I led a good relaxation warm up
-being challenged. Pro-crisis is already a bit nerve wracking, but I'm excited to work with them and see what comes out of it.
-the basics
-being able to talk to padre about my stress of turning down a VO gig. He was very reassuring
-laughter
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 9-15-13

Today I am grateful for:
-brunch with Roomie.
-my students today. They were a small great group who really listened and had a lot of great insight. They really understood the activities and made some super solid choices. Classes like that make me remember why teaching is so much fun.
-dinner with Padre. It was nice to sort of debrief my upcoming schedule and chat about our lives right now.
-getting to perform with Jen Scott. It was a fun set. Quirky Romantic Comedy was our suggestion. We actually played around quite a bit with different characters instead of just sticking to two. She's a great performer and she makes me feel completely safe on stage.
-Breaking Bad. My. God. Best episode ever. For real. I honest to goodness mean it. I've never been so fully invested in a TV show before. I almost threw up from all the anxiety I was experiencing. But in a good way? Hard to explain. I'm super glad that Brittany, Amanda, and Roomie were there so we could decompress and discuss afterward.
-the basics
-laughter
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 9-14-13

Today I am grateful for:
-snooze
-getting a response to an audition I went on two hours earlier. Quick turn around. And I got the gig. :)
-brunch with Kevin. We went to Maria's and then sat by the lake for a bit. Oh and we basically laughed the whole time. Obvi.
-laughter. Particularly when Kdog said, "I'm exciting!"
-spending the afternoon with Brittany. We walked around the lake (but not all the way because it started to rain) and then went back to her place and watched some tv. We also talked a lot about boys, which is soo different than my norm of never speaking about boys ever.*
-a great weekend of shows
-late night pizza run with Tom.
-the basics
-actually being sleepy
-as always, my friends

*It's nice to talk about boys with Brit because we have similar back stories in the sense that we never really dated before now and we both don't know what to really do now that dating is something that is present on our minds. We also both are very career driven people and how that usually gets looked down upon as women. We also don't fit the look of the "norms" of society, which comes with its own bag of worms. It was really good to chat about though and know that I'm not the only one feeling this way about things.

Gratitude on the go! 9-13-13

Today I am grateful for:
-seeing Jen for noodles. So good.
-a really quick and easy shoot at the workshop
-seeing Jen again! I went over to her place and ate donuts and chatted. I also was able to hold Oscar for the longest time. He's a super smily baby.
-being able to take a nap.
-laughter
-Andy's candidness.
-the basics
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 9-12-13

Today I am grateful for:
-these quotes:
"How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it." 

"Awareness is the power that is concealed within the present moment.
-the nice people at the bank who helped me sort out a minor money snafu.
-the kind advice from friends. I'm working up to talk to my roommate. I need support because I'm an idiot confrontation is hard for me.
-a really awesome thursday night audience
-laughter
-seeing a movie with Andy. Insidious Chapter 2. It was so good. The sound on that movie was outstanding. I hope they make another chapter. I'm a huge fan of this potential franchise
-the basics
-this hilariousness:

-as always, my friends. 

Gratitude on the go! 9-11-13

Today I am grateful for:
-waking up naturally.
-having a peaceful morning
-seeing a movie with Amanda. Blue Jasmine. I'm not a huge fan of Woody Allen films, but I didn't mind this one. Cate Blanchett was incredible. Some serious acting was going on there.
-amanda saying I could take refuge at her house for awhile today.
-laughter. Particularly when Brittany, Amanda, and I watched a few old videos from a time gone by. It was hilarious.
-Performing with My Friend's Friend's Friend. It was super fun. I mean like really, really fun. And also touching at points too. All of us on stage were just openly sobbing during one scene. Not really sobbing, but I know Casey and I both teared up for sure. It was, for lack of a better word, art. I had a really amazing time. I hope to play with all of them again.
-hanging out with Anna and watching Little Rascals.
-The basics
-for all the people who gave their lives on 9/11. It was such a tragic day in history. You all are remembered.
-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 9-10-13

Today I am grateful for:
-this quote:
"Open to me, so that I may open. Provide me with your inspiration. So that I may see mine."
-my therapist. I was able to talk about pretty much everything on my list with her today. She was very patient and just let me get it all out. We were able to do some body work too. We talked about some preventative things to do in order to keep my mood up and feeling good like I have been. So far, so good!
-seeing an afternoon movie with Andy. Riddick. It was really stupid, but it was still fun.
-laughter
-drives with Padre
-the basics
-the great weather
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 9-9-13

Today I am grateful for:
-these quotes:
"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."
"Compassion and kindness towards oneself are intrinsically woven into mindfulness."

-getting to hang out with Jen and Oscar today.

I mean, come on!
So adorable!

-getting to hang out with Hannah today. 

-daring greatly and talking about boys

-finding out that Emperor's New Groove is on Instant Netflix. I mean, I might be over exaggerating by saying my life is now complete, but honestly, my life is now complete. I cannot even express how many times I've wanted (needed) to watch this late at night and have been unable to because it's no where to be found online. No longer my friends. Noo longer. 

-group. It was pretty great today. It was just Maggie and me. I talked more about boys and she talked about dating as well. We struggle with shame and people pleasing so we were able to talk about that. We had to tell each other what we liked about the other person. We both suck at taking compliments so that was our homework for the week. To just take the complement and don't try to say anything else. We both chatted after group about how we really enjoyed tonight's session. We've both made some mad progress over the last few months and that's something to hold space with. 

-Jaime. It's her birthday today. I still remember meeting her for the first time on her birthday back in 2005. 8 years ago. My goodness. I remember thinking right away she was pretty great. Then realizing her dry humor was right up my ally and we had a ton of things in common. I remember watching Desparate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy every Sunday night in the TV room, her helping me out when I just broke up with my ex, discovering that we both cried out by the fountain because it drowned out the noise, and of course sharing a love for scary movies. Not to mention being one amazing third of the amazing trio. There are too many memories to share here. The moral is I am so lucky and grateful to have such a kick ass friend like Jaime in my life. Happy birthday, Jaime. Here's to many, many more. :)

Prepping for a 90's dance party.
Circa 2005

-the basics

-laughter. Particularly when Oscar basically dive bombed his toy. I couldn't stop laughing I thought it was so funny. He looked up at me to see what was going on because he didn't understand why I was making those noises. It was so adorable and hilarious. 

-as always, my friends.

Gratitude on the go! 9-8-13

Today I am grateful for:
-getting to see a bunch of great people I like.
-the awareness that I was struggling a bit today. Not exactly sure what was going on. Nothing major, I just felt a bit off. Like I was out of place? I took some time to sit in my car tonight and just breath. It helped a bit. I think I just was around too many people again. I need to take more breaks when I do that.
-roomie coming over and watching Breaking Bad.
-Breaking Bad. Oh. My. Goodness. I seriously cannot even deal with that show it's so good. I forgot to breath several times during tonight's episode.
-laughter
-the basics
-This TED Talk video:

-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 9-7-13

Today I am grateful for:
-these quotes:
"When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it's bottomless."

"All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveller is unaware."
-taking an epic nap. I was only planning on 45 minutes, but it ended up being an hour and a half. Woops. It was obviously needed. Although it was a bit jarring because I had that thing happen to me where my mind wakes up but my body is still asleep. Its like being paralyzed. And it's terrifying.
-spending the evening with Brittany. We went to Brasa and then she came to my show. It was all the funs.
-laughter. Particularly ball booties. "Goodness gracious, great balls of yarn"
-the basics
-as always, my friends. 

Gratitude on the go! 9-6-13

Today I am grateful for:
-These quotes:
"Happiness is not a station to arrive at, but a manner of traveling."

"One may understand the cosmos, but never the self; the self is more distant than any star."

"The best way to get what you want is to be what you are."
-this article. It's the truth

-having a bit of a decadent day. I lounged about the house, got groceries, did laundry, finished a book, started a new book, took a nap(!), and watched a stupid amount of tv. It was a me day, and I'm not gonna complain about it.
-a great audience
-a super fun improv set. Josh was back in town and came to play and so did Mike. We did some really solid group scenes as well as some super fun new short forms. Good times. Good times.
-laughter.
-hanging out after the show with the cast
-the basics
-as always, my friends 

Gratitude on the go! 9-5-13

Today I am grateful for:
-this quote:
"Rules are what the artist breaks; the memorable never emerged from a formula."

-The retro 3 at 3. They played an old shaggy song. It was pretty epic and brought a groove to my body and a smile to my face. :)
-being present. I'm present today about the fact that I'm wanting to processing some big picture stuff. While reading the bloggess I might have stumbled down a rabbit hole about ACON. While some of it doesn't feel like it pertains to me, some of it was insanely spot on. It really made me reflect on my past. I had a few moments where I started to get worked up, but for the most part I think I was able to just acknowledge those feelings and breath through them. I might be pushing them down a bit, too. I think it's a combo. I would rather process these thoughts with group or Marit (most likely both) so I don't want to get myself up in a tizzy before I do that. The thoughts are there, they're just thoughts, and for now I'm putting them on the shelf. Huh. I don't think that's pushing them down actually. If was pushing those feelings down, I would not be dealing with them and hoping they'd go away. That's not what's happening here. Wait a second...Putting something on the shelf is something I've worked on in therapy. Okay, now I'm present that I'm skeptical. I'm skeptical that this is a good thing. But I honestly think it is. I'm not freaking out or feeling overwhelmed. I feel in control of my thoughts. Wow. This is different. Good different? Yeah. Lets go with that.
-stream of conscious writing
-laughter. Particularly this video:

-taking the time to get into my body. I just did a check in with myself before the show tonight. It wasn't for very long, but just a quick scan and getting grounded.
-the really nice audience members who came up and gave the sweetest and gentlest hug in the receiving line.
-free cake. Red velvet cake!
-getting surprise checks in the mail! The best!
-the basics
-melatonin
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 9-4-13

Today I am grateful for:
-This quote:
"When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude."
-A super fun VO for the YMCA today. Quick and easy. They actually gave me the note to talk faster. Never in my life has that happened before. It was fun. Plus they sent me the copy of it really quickly. Like, almost immediately after we wrapped. It sounded great.
-A fun photo shoot for the BNW Holiday Show. I got to dress up like an elf. Again. I have no problem with that. I enjoy shooting with Dani as well. She's a great photographer.

Oh NBD,
Just dressed up like an elf holding a mistletoe. 

-a quick lunch with Andy
-being able to take a nap in the afternoon

-class. They're a really great class who definitely stretch themselves. 

-being present. I'm present today that in class when we worked with physicality that one of my students was being too aggressive. We were all very aware of it. I struggled because when it was happening I froze. It wasn't for long, but I was physically aware that everything in me tightened up, my heart rate increased, my face and chest got warm, and I held my breath. I'm glad that I was aware that these things were happening to me, but upset that there was nothing I can do about it. I just had to let it take its course. After what felt like eternity, but was more likely 5 seconds, things went back to normal and I was able to talk to class about boundaries and being aware of how other people react to touch. I don't know how well I actually handled the situation, but one of my students on break expressed that she's been bothered by that for awhile now and was glad that things were addressed. Hopefully it won't be a problem again. 

-late night drives with padre. I was able to decompress again for a bit. I didn't say anything for awhile and just focused on my body and where I was holding tension and trying to breathe into those places. After awhile my hands got super warm and I was able to start talking about what's new and processing things with padre. It was nice. 

-the basics 

-the amazing view of downtown at night around the lakes. 

-as always, my friends. 

Gratitude on the go! 9-3-13

Today I am grateful for:
-my therapist. These last few weeks have been pretty good. Not too much pressing stuff to talk about, which I'm glad about but also makes me nervous. On the one hand, usually when I'm doing really well, the other shoe drops and then I get stuck. On the other hand, if I continue to keep doing well (which would be great) it kind of means I'm at a place in my life where I might not be going to therapy as much. It's only been a couple of weeks though so I'm not jumping to any conclusions.
-being greeted warmly from the people at YF. I'm glad to be doing some on call work.
-spontaneous movie day with Anna. The World's End. It was pretty good. Not their best work, but I definitely enjoyed myself.
-crafting and an evening to myself.
-late night tacos with Amanda and Brittany. We made a list of all the things we'd like to do in the upcoming months:

It's a pretty amazing list if I do say so myself.

-laughter. Particularly when Brittany said that you should bottle up your farts like butterflies in a mason jar until your lover comes home. "Welcome hoooome!"
-being able to process some boy stuff with Brittany. It's great to have a friend I'm able to do that with. We came up with a good metaphor for dating. Dating is pretty much 50/50 regarding a good or bad outcome. You're either gonna open a mason jar of butterflies, or a jar of farts. Either way, its a good story.
-the basics
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 9-2-13

Today I am grateful for:
-Breaking Ice. We did our 4 shows today and they all went really well I thought. Fun group of people. The show makes me reflect a lot on college since, you know, that's what the shows are all about. One of our post show discussions one of the students said that it's so hard to meet new people and how everyone is put together and basically people just spit out the same information to everyone over and over hoping to form a connection. It made me remember how insanely grateful I am for Amy and her ability to just go up to people and make connections. It's a skill that I admire so much and am so grateful for. I still remember walking on the mounds and hearing my name being called from behind me and Amy bounding up and introducing herself to me and immediately asking if I wanted to go for a ride with her to the village to the record store. I remember thinking, "Can I just go into this stranger's car? I don't have to ask permission anymore. I make my own decisions now. Sure, why not. What's the worst that can happen?" It might be to this day one of the best decisions I've ever made.
-taking a nap with the rest of the cast during our break.
-one of the students coming up to me after the show and complementing me on my voice being so clear.
-laughter
-the incredible sunset over lake Calhoun. The water was this beautiful light crystal blue and the sky was all sorts of shades of pink. It brought a smile to my face.
-late night drives with padre. It was a quiet drive. I was feeling I think a bit overwhelmed at the start of the drive. Being with people all day and being "on" with no real alone time can be difficult for me. On the very long drive and I was able to decompress I think. We didn't really talk that much (well he talked a bit and I listened) which I think also helped. Padre even said that he could feel my energy shift by the end of the drive.
-the basics
-my comfy cozy bed
-remembering to live in the moment
-as always, my friends

Gratitude on the go! 9-1-13

Today I am grateful for:
-this quote:
"Never dull your shine for somebody else."
-having some time in the morning to catch up on some emails.
-spending the day with friends. I met up with Brittany around noon and went to Amanda's restaurant where we gorged ourselves with amazing food and drinks (that Amanda gave to us at a super surprise discount!) Then Brittany and I went back to my place where we spent the whole day catching up on Breaking Bad and doing laundry. You know, like grown ups do. Then we stopped by Madde's going away party for a bit where I got to see a bunch of fun people before we went back house to watch the new episode of Breaking Bad (which was amazing) at which point Roomie joined us for the night. Phew! It was a pretty incredible day. I am so very lucky to have such wonderful friends in my life that make me feel so happy.

Look at these ladies.
Breakfast of Champions.
Literally and figuratively. 

-laughter

-the basics

-as always, my friends